Childhood Obesity: The Emotional Root of a Physical Phenomenon

Obesity significantly affects health, quality of life, and functional ability, leading to chronic mental and physical illnesses. .

Did you know that 1 in every 3 children in Israel is overweight?
New data from the Ministry of Health paints a grim picture: 20% of first-grade students are overweight. By seventh grade, this number jumps to over 30%.
Studies show that a child who was overweight is likely to become an overweight adult.

The World Health Organization has designated obesity as the major epidemic of the 21st century. Such obesity, as mentioned, increases the risk of developing heart diseases and other illnesses, posing both short-term and long-term health risks..

These statistics reveal a phenomenon of enormous proportions, and ignoring its existence is tantamount to neglecting human life, as it is the second leading cause of death worldwide.

However, proposed solutions such as balanced and healthy eating, physical activity, annual check-ups, and a healthy lifestyle in general are not sufficient to reduce the extent of the phenomenon..

To discuss solutions, we first need to diagnose the issue..
Practitioners of alternative therapies believe that the roots of physical illness lie in the emotional level. Proper diagnosis of the cause for eating need will help resolve the issue more rapidly and for the long term..

Although we have talked about childhood obesity, studies showed that an obese child becomes an obese adult. The Central Bureau of Statistics notes that 16.6% of Israelis over 21 are obese . They likely suffered from obesity as children..
If the problem wasn't addressed during childhood, it will likely persist over time....

Taking Misguided Steps in the Physiological Realm

One reason for unexplained eating that isn't to satisfy hunger, known as "emotional eating," is the need for a sense of belonging. A person feels worthless in their own eyes and seeks to fulfill this void with food . Essentially, they seek to fill emotional emptiness with physical fullness..
The person hasn't adequately formed their personal identity from their own perspective. They lack a clear answer to the questions of who they are, what their purpose is, and what their abilities are.?
In children, this difficulty manifests in finding their familial role at home—they will not have anyone to play with, they'll constantly seek attention, they cry a lot, and frequently demand their desires be fulfilled—they want things bought for them, they need assistance, etc. They think more and do less because they aren’t aware of or don't value their capabilities. Subconsciously, this fills them and is what makes them feel belong, a part of something..
If this need isn't fully met, they repeatedly seek what they want, feeling empty each time..
They don't occupy themselves—don’t initiate unless forced. (It's a broad spectrum and not every child fits it entirely, but they'll certainly be in various points along the axis).
Gradually, their abilities diminish, and their feeling of emptiness intensifies. They feel an intense need for satisfaction, enjoyment, happiness—and fill the emotional void with physical fullness .
Food provides immediate physical fullness and simultaneous enjoyment, eventually creating a brain pattern linking emptiness and boredom with eating.

Be warned: this is a neurological connection with a highly complex foundation, making it very difficult to sever. All the diet experts and nutritional researchers don't address solutions from this level. Thus, physical activity, balanced diets, and controlled eating are nice but haven't dismantled this logical failure..
This problem worsens over the years, and whenever emptiness arises, so does the need to eat to fill this void. Food is readily available, providing immediate enjoyment and fullness. Naturally, this affects the psyche; I'm calm when I eat and feel good. But the issue is this isn’t permanent, and then the neurological connection in my brain strengthens and proliferates, creating a difficult-to-escape loop, and I continue to become overweight..
When I feel emotional emptiness, there is a preceding mental void that raises questions such as who am I, what's my identity, what am I even good at? This then creates emotional emptiness—a great frustration, sadness, self-disappointment, etc., and immediately a need arises for immediate satisfaction and fullness—which, as mentioned, food supplies.
Initially, this feels genuinely satisfying and blissful. In the short term, the brain interprets this sensation as emotional fullness and a good feeling, but this quickly passes, replaced by heaviness, as the body signals distress not knowing what to do with the excess consumption..

This neurological association exists since childhood and if untreated, the "reward" will be seeing the child as an overweight teenager and adult.
The association between mental and emotional emptiness and the sensation of fullness from eating solidifies in the brain after 12 occurrences, and from there it continues to extend independently without our control or knowledge.

After decades, we feel an inexplicable urge to eat and gradually lose the sensation of satiety. Our body gets accustomed to this state, storing excess fat without knowing how to get rid of it—diets help initially, but not permanently, nor does any other physical activity..

Taking Misguided Steps in the Emotional Realm

Beyond eating, subconsciously, an individual feels the need to fill oneself socially as well and finds enjoyment from the environment. They use it to gain a sense of belonging—through it, they feel part of something because they haven't defined their own identity from within. They haven’t considered the simple fact that they are unique. They build their identity definition and self-worth based on external feedback. It pleases them to feel needed and significant by others, so they constantly look to please, seek likability, play the most amazing role—the best woman, the best child who never opposes. Overweight children are usually not confrontational—they live in their corner seeking friendly proximity. They do this by bribing other children or fulfilling commands given to them..
Generally, the overweight person resists less. They are typically a pleaser because it provides them self-esteem. .
Sometimes they become a target for ridicule, but don’t mistake this as solely related to appearance... Initially, there was low self-esteem, evolving into emptiness, which led to obesity... Overweight children often allow themselves to be ridiculed and sometimes truly feel it happening, even if it isn’t in practice—because they don't value themselves or are ashamed of their appearance..

My self-worth and esteem are built upon social validation achieved through pleasing, but it doesn’t last..
Neurological connection—emptiness—pleasing—esteem and repeat..
I must be the "good" and appear good in everyone’s eyes to feel valued by everyone..
This causes me to embody duality—the genuine self, and the fake exterior which constantly pleases but has long wanted to escape.
I also contain endless people with endless desires—and appear accordingly...
This containment burdens both mentally and physically—making walking and daily functioning very challenging, cumbersome, and burdensome .
It's hard to get up in the morning—because I’m heavy, but also since there’s no reason.
The solution is found in defining my own identity, drawing internal fulfillment from myself, and engaging in activities that fill the void and reveal my capabilities.
Thus, I can value myself in my own eyes and not need social pleasing for self-esteem.

To prevent the feeling of emptiness, prolong engagement in activities longer than typical for others. Doing so leads to satisfaction and unveils abilities I didn't know I had.
Gradually, the emptiness will disappear, I’ll feel satiety, and be filled with self-esteem.
Once the solution is down this path, we can eat normally, feel full, and discover we've slimmed down and lost weight.

Inbal Elhayani, M.A, is a certified NLP and guided imagery therapist, writer, and lecturer.