Laws Regarding a Dangerously Ill Person and One Who is Dying - Part A

Bearer of Good News

It is a great mitzvah to show a cheerful face to the sick and to gladden their hearts with encouraging words. One should try to share good and joyful news with them, as King Solomon wisely said (Proverbs 15:30): "Bright eyes gladden the heart; good news gives health to the body." All the more so, one should not deliver any bad news that might cause them distress.

One should not inform a critically ill person about someone else's death, even if it is a relative or acquaintance, lest it disturb their peace of mind and weaken them. If they do learn that a relative has passed away, they should not tear their garment, and people should not cry in their presence, so as not to break their spirit. (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 337:1, 38)

Silence is Best

If a person is suffering from a dangerous illness that typically has no cure, Hashem save us, they should not be told about their condition, lest they lose heart, despair of mercy, and their luck turn for the worse, God forbid.

It is important to know that when a sick person puts their trust in Hashem to heal them and prays for this, they can nullify the decree and truly live, for even if a sharp sword rests upon a person's neck, they should not withhold themselves from mercy (Tractate Berachot 10a). Moreover, a sick person's prayer for themselves is more readily accepted than the prayers of others. If they pray and are not answered, they should pray again, as it says (Psalms 27:14): "Hope in Hashem, be strong and let your heart take courage, and hope in Hashem"—hope and hope again (Tractate Berachot 32b), for perhaps initially it was not a favorable time, but now it is a time of favor, as it says (Isaiah 49:8): "Thus says Hashem: In a time of favor I have answered you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you." The Meiri wrote that a person's heart should always be confident that prayer performed properly cancels the decree; therefore, our Sages said (Tractate Bava Batra 116a): Whoever has a sick person in their household should go to a sage who will ask for mercy on their behalf, since the sage is constantly engaged in Torah study, meditating on it day and night, his prayer is more accepted and quickly heard. As they said (Tractate Bava Metzia 85a), a Torah scholar who teaches Torah to many, even if the Holy One, blessed be He, decrees a decree, he cancels it for his sake, as it says (Jeremiah 15:19): "If you extract the precious from the worthless, you shall be as My mouth." The Rema wrote that one should go to a sage "in his city" to pray for him. The Shevet HaLevi explained that the sage of one's city has the status of his teacher, and the teacher has a connection to his students' souls, making him capable of removing the evil decree. The Nimukei Yosef wrote that this was the custom in France, that anyone with a sick relative would ask the head of the yeshiva to bless them. Rabbi Chaim Palachi wrote in his book "Refuah V'Chaim" in the name of Rabbi Yehoshua Avraham that he would regularly tell those with sick relatives: Why spend money on doctors? Go to a God-fearing sage who will pray for them, give charity for their recovery, and you will see the work of Hashem, for it is awesome—He heals freely and faithfully. Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin wrote: "There was an incident with our master Rabbi David HaLevi, author of Turei Zahav, when a woman cried out to him: 'Alas, my lord, my child is ill and there is but a step between him and death, and I cry out to my lord's Torah, for the Holy One, blessed be He, and the Torah are one.' The rabbi said to her: 'I will do this for you—the words of Torah that I am currently studying with my students, I give them as a gift to your son; perhaps through this merit he will live, as it is said (Deuteronomy 32:46): "Take to heart... to observe to do all the words of this Torah... for it is your life and through this thing you shall prolong your days,"' and so it was, and he lived." Rabbeinu Bachya wrote: The power of prayer is great, even to change nature and to be saved from danger, for nothing is too wondrous for Hashem, as He is a free, compassionate, and faithful healer.

Moreover, it happens daily that doctors err in their assessment, or when the disease is still in its early stages and the patient may overcome it and live. We see with our own eyes how many people who have contracted dangerous diseases have, by the grace of Hashem who is a compassionate and faithful healer, been cured through various treatments and specific medications. As our Sages said (Tractate Avodah Zarah 55a): When afflictions are sent upon a person, they are bound by oath: that they will only go on such-and-such a day, and will only leave on such-and-such a day, at such-and-such an hour, and by the hand of so-and-so, and through such-and-such a remedy, as it says (Deuteronomy 28:59): "Then Hashem will bring extraordinary plagues... and malignant and faithful diseases"—malignant in their mission [tormenting the body], and faithful to their oath [to depart at their appointed time].

With the well-known disease, it is not always possible to hide the matter from the patient, for sometimes there is a need to receive treatment through radiation and chemotherapy for healing, and the patient needs to cooperate with the doctors, and it is impossible to treat them without informing them of their illness. Therefore, necessity cannot be condemned, since everything is done for their benefit. But as much as possible, they should not be told about the disease that has struck them. (1:29, 74)

For You Shall Go Out With Joy

When a sick person asks the doctors about their condition, they should respond that with Hashem's help there is good hope that they will return to their strength, even if in their opinion this is not true, and they should inspire a spirit of joy and good hope in the patient. [They hinted at this in the verse (Isaiah 55:12): "For you shall go out with joy," meaning that through joy one emerges from all troubles.] Those doctors who reveal to the patient their condition and cause them to despair, their sin is great. Even if the patient is the doctor's father whom they are obligated to obey, and the father commands them to tell him the truth about his condition, and even says that he forgives any distress it might cause, the child should not tell him, since his distress is not forgiven, and they are not permitted to cause him distress, all the more so in this case where he might be endangered.

It is clear that we should not comply with "medical ethics rules" which state that a doctor must disclose the complete truth about the patient's condition to them, because the ethical rules of our holy Torah are not so; and about such doctors our Sages said (Tractate Kiddushin 82a): "The best of doctors are destined for Gehenna." And it is told in the Prophets about Ben-Hadad, king of Aram, who was sick and sent Hazael to ask the prophet Elisha if he would recover from this illness, as it is said (2 Kings 8:8-10): "And the king said to Hazael, 'Take a gift in your hand and go to meet the man of God, and inquire of Hashem through him, saying, Will I recover from this illness?' So Hazael went to meet him and took a gift in his hand... He came and stood before him, and said, 'Your son Ben-Hadad king of Aram has sent me to you, saying, Will I recover from this illness?' And Elisha said to him, 'Go, say to him, You shall certainly live,' though Hashem has shown me that he will certainly die.'" (1:74)

Sadness Is Not From Heaven

Rabbi Yosef Chaim wrote (Aderet Eliyahu, Parshat Vayakhel): Know, my friend, that the trait of sadness, besides being painful to the soul, is also very painful and harmful to the body. Many terrible illnesses stem from it, God forbid. This affliction of sadness is "man-made," meaning that any affliction that comes upon a person is certainly a decree from Heaven, as a person does not stub their toe below unless it is announced above, so everything is decreed from Heaven. But sadness is something a person brings upon themselves—Heaven did not decree this affliction upon them, since sadness is something despicable and hated before the Holy One, blessed be He. Even regarding one's sins, it is not proper to be excessively sad. If Heaven decrees suffering upon a person, God forbid, the Holy One, blessed be He, wants the person to accept the suffering with joy, and this is the test that is always given to a person, to see if they accept all suffering that comes upon them with joy or not. If so, it is impossible for Heaven to decree sadness upon them. Moreover, the main sadness that a person has usually comes from a lack of faith, for if they had proper and necessary faith and trust in Hashem, they certainly would not come to sadness. If so, how could the trait of sadness be a decree from Heaven?! Therefore, we must say that this severe affliction is "man-made," meaning the person themselves causes and brings this affliction upon themselves. Therefore, one should put their trust in Hashem, and awaken their heart to joy and gladness. (And see the expansion of these matters in the booklet "Rosh Chodesh in Halacha and Aggadah" page 74)

Not to Publicize

It is not good to tell and publicize about a patient who is in a dangerous condition, so as not to harm their luck. However, if their illness has worsened, it is permissible to publicize the matter to many so that they will pray for them.

In the book "Vayitzbor Yosef" it is written: There was a case of someone who became ill with the known disease, and Rabbi Elazar Abuchatzeira told him that if he would destroy the X-rays and ask the doctor treating him not to reveal this to anyone, he would be healed with Hashem's help. He did so and was healed. However, sometimes he would still feel pain, and the Rabbi told him that since the doctor knew about it, that was why he still had occasional pain, but when the doctor died, the pains would also stop. And so it was, that after the doctor died, he felt no pain at all. The reason for this is that Heaven does not always perform an open miracle, and therefore when he destroyed the documents and trusted in Hashem, he was healed, for then the miracle was no longer visible to all. In the book "Shomer Emunim" it is written that if a person feels any ailments, they should not tell anyone about them. This is a remedy for the illness to disappear on its own. (4:87)

There was a case of a man who fell ill with a serious disease and needed urgent surgery abroad. When he came to ask for a blessing from Rabbi Elazar Menachem Shach, he asked him whether to tell his parents about the disease, which would certainly cause them worry and distress. The Rabbi's opinion was decisive: "You must tell your parents the truth! Perhaps you can minimize the severity of the condition, but you must tell them about the disease and the danger to life it involves. It is very important to tell them so that they will pray for you and plead on your behalf. In practice, they cannot help you at all, but you should know that a father's prayer and a mother's tear have great and mighty power in Heaven! You must not give up on these prayers under any circumstances!" ("Orchot HaBayit" page 206)

By What Merit Did He Return to Life?

Our Sages said: There are three whom the Holy One, blessed be He, loves: one who does not get angry, one who does not get drunk, and one who does not insist on their rights. There was an incident with Rav Huna who fell ill and passed away to the next world [clinical death], and when he returned to life, his students said to him, "Our teacher, by what merit were you released in that world?" He said to them: "My children, fortunate is one who does not stand on their rights. I swear, groups of ministering angels came and advocated for me, but they were not accepted. Until one angel came and said to them: 'For whom are you advocating? Perhaps for this one who never stood on his rights?' Immediately, they released me from death to life." (Otzar HaMidrashim. Compare Tractate Rosh Hashanah 17a)