Learning to Master Anger Through Torah Wisdom

One of the biggest challenges in serving Hashem especially in our relationships with other people is the trait of anger. For some, once anger is triggered, it's like they lose themselves. They say or do things in the heat of the moment that they would never do otherwise. Anger clouds our judgment, stirs up conflict, and opens the door to many serious mistakes.

At first glance, anger may seem like something we just "can't control." But our sages teach us otherwise. With some effort, tools, and awareness, even this difficult trait can be worked on and overcome. (Orchot Tzadikim)

Anger doesn’t just damage our spiritual life. It harms our health and affects the way we live every day.

Chazal (our Sages) said in Tractate Nedarim (22a), “Anyone who gets angry, all types of Gehinnom (spiritual suffering after death) rule over him.” Rabbeinu Asher explained that anger can cause such intense physical and emotional pain, it's as if the person is being punished with all the tortures of Gehinnom. As it says in Kohelet (Ecclesiastes 11:10), “Remove anger from your heart, and remove evil from your flesh.”

Anger brings about physical illnesses. The verse in Devarim (Deuteronomy 28:65) says: “Hashem will give you a trembling heart, failing eyes, and a despondent spirit.” When someone is consumed by anger, it heats up the body unnaturally, affecting digestion and leading to problems like hemorrhoids.

Anger can even damage one’s vision. In Bereshit (Genesis 26:35), it says that Esav’s wives were a source of bitterness to Yitzchak and Rivka, and shortly afterward we read that “Yitzchak’s eyes were too dim to see.” In Tehillim (Psalms 6:8), it says, “My eye is dimmed by anger.” In Iyov (Job 17:7), “My eye has grown dim from anger.” (Midrash Aggadah)

In Sefer Chassidim (145) it says that angry people “do not have a life,” and that anger can shorten a person’s years. As it says in Iyov (Job 5:2), “For anger kills the foolish,” and in Iyov (14:1), “Short of days and full of rage.”

The Orchot Tzadikim (in the Gate of Anger) writes that anger is a disease of the soul, just like leprosy is a disease of the body.

Here are a few more examples of what our sages wrote about the damage of anger:

“Nothing damages the body more than anger. Therefore, be careful and don’t harm your body or your soul.” (Testament of Rabbi Shabtai ben HaShelah)

“Anger brings intense inner heat, which leads to fever, nerve damage, and even insanity.” (Shvilei Emunah)

“Most illnesses come from anger. Anger is rooted in arrogance. It affects the lungs and spreads illness throughout the body. In short, it kills the body and the soul, God forbid.” (Bat Melech, based on Sefer Zera Kodesh)

“It’s known that anyone who regularly gets angry becomes vulnerable to all sorts of illnesses, G-d forbid. They don’t live a full life. This is a serious sin, because a person must protect their health in order to serve Hashem.” (Matok MiDvash)

“Anger heats the body so much that it causes fevers, especially in people who get angry quickly. Blood rushes inward, the face turns pale, the heart races, and the body can be overwhelmed with illnesses.” (Soft Answer)

“Anger can cause ulcers, kidney problems, and heart conditions. The body can’t handle this kind of pressure and it starts releasing harmful chemicals that damage inner organs.” (Ma’orot)

A Strategy to Avoid Anger

Chazal said, “Anyone who gets angry is like someone who serves idols.” That’s a powerful idea. Think about it: if someone were tested with actual idol worship, something that Jews are commanded to die rather than do, how would they respond?

Now imagine asking someone: “Why are you bowing to an idol?” And they answered: “Because someone upset me.” Wouldn’t that sound ridiculous?

Yet, this is exactly what’s happening when we give in to anger. It’s like putting up an idol and bowing to it, saying, “You created me and rule over me,” as if forgetting that Hashem is the One in control.

Rabbeinu Bachya, in his classic book “Chovot HaLevavot – Duties of the Heart,” writes: “No one can harm me unless it is Hashem’s will.” This is the foundation of emunah, faith in Hashem’s providence.

Let’s look at some real-life examples:

Someone is waiting for a bus to get to work. The bus is late, and there’s traffic. The person might lose some money. But is it worth losing your peace of mind? Is it worth bowing to an idol over a few shekels?

Another example: You come home from work, tired and hungry. You dreamt of a nice hot meal and rest. But the food burned. Anger starts bubbling up. But take a moment and ask: Is this worth idol worship? Getting angry won’t fix the food. As Chazal said (Kiddushin 40b): “The only thing a person gains from anger is anger itself.”

Or maybe you’re trying to sleep, but your young kids are making noise. You're frustrated. Again, stop and think: Is it worth getting angry? Is it worth bowing to an idol over this? Instead, speak to the children gently. Try earplugs if needed. Stay calm, and with Hashem’s help, you'll manage.

The main takeaway: Do your best to avoid situations that will trigger anger. That’s why in the morning prayers we say: “Do not bring us to a test or disgrace.” But even if a challenge comes your way, remember, giving in to anger is like giving in to idol worship. And it’s never worth it. With prayer, self-awareness, and Hashem’s help, we can all grow and rise above it.