How to Help the Soul of a Loved One After Death: The Power of Torah, Prayer, and Kaddish

One of the greatest consolations for the relatives of someone who has passed away is knowing that they can still help them. This not only provides deep comfort but also a tangible sense that the soul of their loved one continues to live — that their connection remains alive through spiritual means.

Like a mother whose son has gone abroad. While her heart aches from separation, she finds solace in sending him care packages — with food, clothing, and small gifts he loves. Each package lessens the pain of distance.

In a similar way, the relatives of the departed — especially children — can and must “send packages” to their loved one in the World of Truth: packages filled with Torah study, good deeds, prayers, and acts of kindness. These “gifts” bring indescribable pleasure and elevation to the soul — and deep comfort to the living, knowing they can still do good for their loved one.

The Saba of Slabodka once appeared to his son in a dream after his passing, saying: “Send me packages!” — referring to spiritual packages of Torah, prayer, Kaddish, and Mishnayot. These bring the soul immense joy and merit.

“A Son Brings Merit to His Father”

The Talmud (Sanhedrin 104a) teaches: “A son brings merit to his father” — meaning that every mitzvah performed by a son (or daughter) after a parent’s death brings spiritual elevation to the parent’s soul in Gan Eden.

The Shelah HaKadosh writes: “Not only does a child save his father from the judgment of Gehinnom and release him from suffering, but he can also elevate him to Gan Eden and the company of the righteous. As it is said, ‘A son honors his father’ — even after death. If the son follows the path of truth and goodness, his deeds bring honor to his father both in this world and the next, and God, in His mercy, raises the father to the Throne of Glory.”

The Chofetz Chaim explains: “Imagine a father suffering in flames or terrible anguish — how his heart would yearn for his children to save him! And what wouldn’t a child give to rescue a suffering parent? Likewise, a son should awaken to help his parents’ souls by increasing Torah study and good deeds, which can rescue them from their pain.”

The Pele Yoetz adds: “True honor for a parent continues after death. The son should imagine his father crying out from the fire, ‘My dear child, have mercy on me!’ Even if one believes his parent was completely righteous, he should still offer spiritual ‘gifts’ of Torah, prayer, and charity, as if serving his father his favorite food so that his soul may bless him.

It is good to say daily: ‘May it be Your will, Hashem, that all good deeds I do — in thought, word, or action — be for the elevation of the soul of my father, my mother, and my in-laws, and may their souls be bound in the bond of life.’”

Letters of Comfort from the Great Sages

Rabbi Yechezkel Levenstein wrote to his daughter and grandchildren after the death of their father: “My beloved children, we can do nothing now but accept God’s judgment with love. Man was not created for this world — this world was made for the seventy nations; the next world was made for Israel, for eternity. My dear grandchildren, your duty now is to act for your father’s sake — who devoted his life to you, by engaging in Torah and mitzvot. Pray with intention. Say Kaddish with meaning. Learn Mishnah every day for the elevation of his soul. Rejoice in your Torah study — for God, the Merciful Father of orphans and widows, will not forsake you.”

Rabbi Yerucham Levovitz, the Mashgiach of Mir, wrote in a letter of consolation (Da’as Chochmah): “Death is nothing more than moving from one city to another. Your father has not died — he lives. He is only in a different place. In truth, he is now closer to you than before, for nothing separates souls. He sees you, hears you, and awaits your deeds. The Kaddish and the Torah you learn are his lifeline. Every good deed raises him higher; every sin causes him pain. If only children truly understood this, they would fill their days with mitzvot out of love for their parents. Remember — your father’s eyes are lifted toward you, his beloved children, every day and every moment, waiting for your deeds to lift him to the light of Gan Eden.”

Helping the Departed — The Greatest Act of Love

Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian recounted: During World War I, when hunger struck his community, many parents called their sons home from yeshiva to help support the family. Rabbi Lopian’s wife refused: “I don’t want our sons to help me now,” she said. “There will come a time — in the World of Truth — when I will need their help far more. Let them stay in yeshiva now so they can help me then.”

“Mishnah” and “Neshamah” — The Same Letters

The Shelah points out that Mishnah (משנה) and Neshamah (נשמה) share the same Hebrew letters — because studying Mishnah greatly benefits the neshamah (soul) of the departed.

Many great rabbis requested in their wills that Mishnayot be learned for their souls. Rabbi Akiva Eiger wrote: “When I pass away, please inform others through the newspapers and ask my students and friends to learn one chapter of Mishnah each day during the first year, and on my yahrzeit every year thereafter.”

The Power of Kaddish

The Kaddish prayer, recited by children for their parents, is one of the most powerful acts of merit. It sanctifies God’s Name publicly, declaring His greatness in all worlds.

Through the merit of Kaddish said with sincerity, the child redeems the parent’s soul from Gehinnom and elevates them to Gan Eden. As our sages teach, every Amen Yehei Shmei Rabbah uttered with true devotion echoes through heaven — bringing light to the departed and peace to the living.

In remembering the departed, we do not mourn alone. We continue the relationship — through love, Torah, and good deeds — sending “packages” of light to the souls we cherish, and keeping their presence alive within us forever.