The Purpose of Suffering: Different Reasons for Life's Trials - Part 1

What is the purpose of trials that come upon a person? And is it permissible to ask for suffering?

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אא
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In the words of our Sages, we find that there can be various reasons and different types of benefits for the suffering that Hashem brings upon a person. All of these, as mentioned, are "as a man disciplines his son," all for the benefit and good of the person. Here we will present some of these types of benefits:

Suffering as a Test

"I trained them and strengthened their arms, yet they plot evil against Me" (Hosea 7:15)

Often, the purpose of suffering is to test a person, how they will accept it, and how they will strengthen their faith in the Creator. These tribulations come to strengthen one's "spiritual muscles," as the verse above states: "I trained them, strengthened their arms!" They are like heavy weights that strengthen the muscles of the person who carries them. The more a person understands the immense spiritual benefit gained through these trials, the more they will rejoice in them and accept them with love.

In the Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 222:3), it is ruled: "A person must bless over misfortune with complete understanding and willing soul, just as he blesses with joy over good fortune. For misfortune for those who serve Hashem is their joy and benefit, since they accept with love what Hashem has decreed upon them. Thus, in accepting this misfortune, one serves Hashem, which is a joy." This means a person should view suffering as part of their divine service, as part of their spiritual elevation, and consequently can accept it with joy.

The approach to everything sent from heaven should be this: The harder it is to accept, the more divine service is involved in accepting it. And the more divine service involved, the more appropriate it is for a person to be joyful and accept things with love! Although it is not easy to implement such a mindset, nevertheless, this approach has been codified as law in the Shulchan Aruch, and every Jew should strengthen their thinking in this direction.

Rabbi Azriel Tauber z"l writes: "Generally, it is forbidden for a person to ask for suffering to come upon them, and it is also forbidden to seek ways to increase one's suffering. However, when suffering does come upon a person, they should know that this is more than just an opportunity to overcome difficulties. It is an opportunity to reach heights and the peak of achievement! Every pain caused to a person due to a difficult situation decreed upon them from above comes with the ability to choose to transform suffering into spiritual elevation!

It is told that the Vilna Gaon z"l lost a daughter, may it not happen to us, just before her wedding, and his mother came to him in a dream and said: If only you knew what you merited by how you accepted this, you would have danced at her funeral more than at her wedding! (Leket page 110)

In the book Duties of the Heart (Gate of Self-Examination), it is written: "It is therefore upon you, my brother, to consider the difference between suffering that a person accepts with love, and suffering that one accepts out of necessity and anger, and to look at the difference between the results of these two types of suffering... It is found that if you contemplate well in your heart, that all suffering that Hashem brings upon you is only for your benefit and will bring you good results, and your reward for it is guaranteed! Therefore, my brother, do not neglect to always think about this matter, and then your awareness will be strengthened to accept your suffering with love for the sake of Heaven, and you will have relief when the pain of evil and the bitterness of suffering weigh on your heart, and you will see in this that you are accepting Hashem's decree with good will, and that you are comforted in Hashem and trust in Him, that everything He does with you is only for your benefit, as it is said: 'Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in Hashem!'"

Suffering as Rebuke

"My son, do not despise Hashem's discipline, and do not resent His rebuke. For Hashem disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in."

(Proverbs 3:11-12)

Sometimes, through suffering, Hashem signals and awakens a person to return in repentance and improve their deeds. It is human nature that when only good surrounds a person, they become absorbed in themselves and their successes, without thinking about the essence of life, its purpose, and the service of Hashem. As the verse says: "Jeshurun grew fat and kicked." Hashem gives a person suffering so they will emerge from their bubble and think more seriously about life and its purpose. They will seek Hashem more, pray to Him, turn to Him, feel dependent on Him, be awakened to improve their deeds, and so on. As the Midrash says (Deuteronomy Rabbah, Parshat Ekev 3:2): "I bring suffering upon you until you prepare your hearts for Me."

So wrote the Holy Shelah (Fifth Essay, letter 173, quoting Drashos HaRan, Tenth Discourse): "When a person is in days of tranquility, they do not recognize and examine things in their truth, because of the imagination implanted in humanity, which disturbs them and always shows them this world and its desires. But when one is in distress, it cannot entice them in this way, and therefore they recognize the truth clearly and seek Hashem, not just to escape from distress, but with all their heart and soul. For the intellect tends toward what it naturally tends toward when there is no hindrance."

There was a story about a man who was driving his car and saw a red warning light on the dashboard. It bothered him, so he went to an auto electrician and asked him to turn off the red light. The electrician opened the dashboard and disconnected the bulb from the electricity. The driver was happy that he "got off cheap," but after a few hours of driving, the car suddenly stopped working... Sometimes we receive hints and signals from heaven, troubles or sufferings, and we need to understand the hint and immediately do the right and desirable thing, not look for "shortcuts." We should do the will of Hashem, examine our deeds, and return in repentance.

In the book "In the Way of the Tree of Life," Rabbi Isser Zalman Meltzer's explanation of the verses is brought: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me" (Psalms 23:4).

This can be compared to a father who walked with his son through a dense forest. Before entering the forest, the father sternly warned the son not to separate from him, even for a moment, because wandering in the forest without knowing the way endangers one's life, and they could become prey to the teeth of predatory animals.

At first, the child was careful, and indeed his hand did not leave his father's hand. But then the child noticed something that caught his attention, slipped away from his father, and turned to the side of the path. The father, who didn't notice, continued on his way. When the son wanted to return to his father, he couldn't find him.

The child was very frightened and began to cry and search for his father in the depths of the forest. During his search, he became more and more entangled and lost deeper in the thicket of the forest. Night fell, and a terrifying darkness prevailed. From all sides came the screams of night birds, and from not far away were heard the voices of wolves, lions, and bears hunting for prey. Naturally, the lost child was seized with terrible fear and intense longing for his father.

Suddenly, the child felt a sharp pain in his cheek. It was a slap that landed on him from an anonymous striker. But before he could let out a cry of pain, he realized that the slapper was his father. Instead of crying out in pain, the child let out cries of joy and glee: "Father, Father," and hugged and kissed him.

The condition of a person who sins is similar to that of the lost child. Whenever they sin, they distance themselves from their Father in heaven and are in distress. When suffering comes upon them, they should contemplate and recognize that their heavenly Father is standing over them and disciplining them for straying from the path, and then they will be filled with joy for the blows they received. Because along with the suffering of the punishment, they realize that they are a beloved child of their Father who cares for them and protects them.

Therefore, even when a Jew walks through the valley of the shadow of death, they will not fear, because even Hashem's chastising rod, like His staff, is a comfort to them - "Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me"!

Suffering for Correction and Atonement

Many sufferings that come upon a person are for atonement of their sins and the correction of their soul. The verse says: "For there is not a righteous man upon earth, who does good and does not sin" (Ecclesiastes 7:20), and sometimes Hashem brings suffering upon a person in this world to prevent pain and suffering in the world to come. This is an immense kindness that the Creator does with them, because Hashem, in His eternal and infinite view, knows that it is better for a person to suffer in this world, even to suffer greatly, than to suffer or lose any reward in the eternal world to come. As the Ramban writes: "And behold, if Hashem would destroy from him in this world all the good that has ever been in the world, and he would be judged with the sufferings of Job all his days - it would be better for him than to be punished in his soul to be judged in the world of souls with the sufferings of Gehinnom, or that his sin would diminish from his soul a little from its level in the world of souls and its attachment to the supernal radiance..."

Let us imagine that there exists a healing method through dreams. Suppose they put a person to sleep and influence them to dream a certain dream, and this will affect their soul and heal them. And here comes a person with certain psychological difficulties, and the therapist puts them to sleep and lets them dream hard and shocking dreams, knowing that these dreams will heal them, and they will wake up afterward healthy in their soul and live a normal life. Someone standing from the side and looking at the patient while they are dreaming their dreams, and it is evident that they are terrified by the dreams, might be angry at the therapist who brought them to this. But if they knew the great benefit that would come afterward, for all the days of their life, they would certainly see them as a person of kindness and benevolence.

We, in our limited vision, currently see only the "dream," this world, which is likened to a fleeting dream compared to the eternal world. But Hashem, who sees before Him eternity and the eternal benefit of the person, knows exactly what to "dictate" to them and what to experience in this world, in order to live a better life in the eternal world.

The Ramchal writes in his book "Da'at Tevunot" (page 40) that in the future, Hashem will show us how truly every single thing that happened to us was exactly for our benefit! "For there is no action, small or large, whose inner intention is not for complete correction... For Hashem will make known His ways in the future to come before the eyes of all Israel, how even the reproofs and sufferings were nothing but preparations for good, and literally preparation for blessing, because Hashem wants only the correction of His creation, and does not push away sinners with His hands, but on the contrary, He refines them in a furnace to be corrected and to come out clean from all dross."

Rabbeinu Yonah writes (Proverbs 3): "This is a wonderful thing in the levels of trust, for if the righteous and the doer of good deeds sees that he is not succeeding in wealth, or if Hashem's discipline comes upon him, he should strengthen and fortify himself in trust and not despise Hashem's discipline, and know that it is for his benefit more than the reward of success in wealth and tranquility, for Hashem wanted to privilege him and cleanse him from all guilt and iniquity, and to increase his reward in the world of recompense. For the tranquility of this world - what is it worth?! And the days of man are like a passing shadow, and his end is as if he never was. If he lived a thousand years - one hour of contentment in the world to come is better than all the life of this world! And no person knows what his good is, and Hashem knows what is for his correction and benefit, and what is good for him - whether tranquility or discipline."

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