Who Is Shiva For -- the Living or the Dead?

There are many laws pertaining to the seven days of shiva, which the Sages strongly cautioned against treating lightly. Keeping these laws helps both the relatives of the deceased (to internalize the meaning behind their grief and to accept Hashem’s judgement with love) and those who have passed away (whose souls benefit when their relatives fulfill Hashem’s commandments).

It is written in the book Ohr Yechezkel that the purpose of mourning is to ease the suffering of the deceased, and that this is why the Torah is so strict about the observance of the laws of mourning during the seven-day and thirty-day periods. One must keep this in mind during mourning — that one wishes to reduce the punishments of the deceased.

Words written by a Torah scholar after the passing of his son, may he rest in peace

These words were written the day after shiva ended for our beloved son, a refined person with a kind heart whose only wish was to study Hashem’s Torah, and due to our sins, was recalled to Heaven to bask in the Divine Presence and learn Torah from Hashem. We wanted so much to utilize the days of shiva for spiritual growth and to accept Heaven’s judgment with love. This is the greatest kindness we could bestow upon our beloved son Eliyahu Yosef, of blessed memory. Through this, we also feel that he is still alive, as it is the nature of parents to seek ways to benefit their children.

Furthermore, just as the obligation to bring a sacrifice is a punishment for not accompanying and protecting a traveler who was killed on his journey, so too can we explain the purpose of the funeral and the days of shiva. The funeral (levayah — which translates as “accompanying”) and shiva are the ways in which we accompany the departed soul which is about to undergo a process of purification. Therefore, it is appropriate to use these days appropriately and not fritter them away with empty conversation. Instead, we should discuss spiritual matters and encourage one another to trust in Hashem.

May we merit the resurrection of the dead speedily in our days, amen, and may Hashem send no more sorrow.

Seven Corresponding to Seven

And he observed a seven-day mourning period for his father (Bereishit 50:10)

The Midrash tells us that Hashem said: “In this world, you mourned this righteous man and observed seven days of mourning for him; in the World to Come, I will transform that mourning into seven days of joy, as it is said: ‘I will turn their mourning into joy and comfort them and make them rejoice from their sorrow.’

“Just as I comfort you, so will I comfort Zion and all its ruins, as it is written: ‘For Hashem has comforted Zion, He has comforted all her ruins, and has made her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of Hashem.

“Joy and gladness shall be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of melodious song.”