10 Tips for Managing Anxiety and Stress

1. Memory: Remember that during an anxiety attack, our rational parts aren't functioning! The first thing we want to do is resonate the word "memory" in our minds to activate reasoning and remind ourselves of what we often forget during stress or an anxiety attack (I am safe, someone is watching over me, the situation is temporary, I am not alone, etc.).

2.  Time: An anxiety wave lasts an average of only 20 minutes. During treatment, we aim to reduce the duration and intensity of the anxiety wave. However, knowing that even if it's currently challenging, using appropriate techniques can ease the discomfort in moments, which is comforting.

3. Breathing: Deep breaths and long exhales (count to 7!) supply oxygen to the brain and help "turn off" the brain's anxiety system. Since breathing can be difficult during an anxiety attack, start by counting 2 on the inhale, 4 on the exhale, and slowly increase to 7. Repeat this exercise 3-5 times.

4. Grounding: Often during an anxiety attack, we feel completely detached. In such cases, physical contact provides a sense of boundaries and holding; sit in a chair, close your eyes, and feel all the contact points of your body with the chair, from the back to the legs. Notice your feet on the floor. Feel your body's boundaries, imagine its outline. Touch your body with gentle pressure; feel your head, shoulders, right and then left arm, stomach, legs, etc. This touch defines your body limits and prevents anxiety from spreading and taking over.

5. Automatic Thoughts: These thoughts activate the anxiety mechanism like a radio broadcaster from "The Anxiety Channel": Beware, you are walking in a minefield, you might die, you've made an irreversible mistake, etc.

As part of anxiety treatment, it's crucial to recognize this pestering imp and activate another voice from "The Voice of Reason and Sanity": 'I am safe right now, nothing bad is happening to me, I have ways to cope, I am not helpless, there are people supporting me, I am strong and not a little abandoned child', and so on.

6. Writing: Use writing to describe what you feel, your sensations and emotions, without filtering, judging, or self-criticism. Sometimes it's helpful to write down what we struggle to remember during anxiety, such as: usually feeling safe and protected, and list expectations and desires: what to do once the tense period is over, how to enrich life, balance career and family, what ideal partner to aspire to have, and what not to compromise in a relationship.

7. Living in the Present: Anxiety tends to make us idealize the past and fear the future. Sticking to the present helps exit the anxiety state faster. Here and now. Initially, it may be hard as thoughts drift to the past and future, but gradually you will focus on the present; notice the room details, listen to surrounding sounds, smell the environment, walk around the room, and focus on each step, blocking any past or future thoughts from entering the process. Stay in the present as much as possible!

8. Friends: Anxiety brings feelings of loneliness and desperation, thoughts that no one cares or can help. These thoughts are usually unrealistic.
Find one or two friends, or more, share what you're going through, and make sure to plan for "thorny times" like weekends or holidays with them in advance.

9. Behavioral Activation: Make a list of enjoyable activities and keep it with you. During anxiety, take out the list and force yourself to choose at least one or two activities and do them. This list can include activities like driving to a beloved place, listening to relaxing music, exercise, etc.

10. Senses: Pleasant smells, beautiful sights (landscapes, etc.), good music, and anything that activates our senses, send positive signals to the brain that "everything is fine and calm".

Since the anxiety system is primarily activated through the senses, activating the calming system through the senses is vital.