Joy and Its Opposite: It's Up to Our Decision!

Joy is a universal emotion essential for everyone, and perhaps more than anything else, it signifies a sense of inner fulfillment and balance. But what happens when joy does not come naturally or seems beyond our control? Is joy reserved for us by fate or life experiences, or does it arise solely from our internal decisions?

The belief that joy depends on our decision is not new. Many centuries ago, traditional sages spoke about the impact of our thoughts and emotions on the quality of our lives. They understood that joy is not a result of what happens to us, but of how we choose to respond to what happens. The choice of how to deal with life's challenges, difficulties, or moments of disappointment is what makes joy accessible to each of us.

Joy as an Internal Choice

Throughout the ages, we see many figures who had to deal with extremely challenging situations, yet chose to view the world with joy. These figures were not confined by external circumstances but influenced the way they saw their world. A central Jewish figure to mention in this context is Rabbi Akiva, who chose to rejoice before his death, blessing that he merited to die in such a way. This is an example of mental resilience and joy found in internal consciousness and thought, not in external reality. In my opinion, Rabbi Akiva vividly illustrates that joy does not necessarily depend on circumstances – but on our decision on how to choose to respond to them.

Even today, we see countless examples of people who face severe challenges and manage to maintain joy in their lives. Often, it does not depend on how difficult the external situation is, but on how we manage to find the small comforting and encouraging moments even in low times. Not everyone succeeds in maintaining their joy in every situation, but when we understand that nothing is permanent and life is a series of ups and downs, we can choose to seek the light even in the darkness.

The Opposite of Joy – The Struggle of Choice

But alongside joy, there is also its opposite – lack of joy, disappointment, melancholy. The temptation to sink into negative thoughts can be very strong, with various reasons. Life struggles, disappointments, fears – all these can be powerful and burdensome. The big question is whether we genuinely want to be dragged into this feeling of lack of joy, or whether we can choose to change our thinking direction?

The temptation to feel disappointment is natural, yet a conscious decision to develop a positive attitude is rarely addressed. It not only affects our internal feelings but also our health. Research indicates that positive thoughts and joy can lead to health improvements, better lifestyle choices, and healthier coping with challenges.

What is the "Moment When It Happens"?

Our ability to choose joy is often tested in the most difficult moments. How do we act when there are difficulties at work, in the family, or when witnessing the suffering of others? Often, it's precisely in these moments that we are required to decide if we are ready to introduce joy, even if it seems distant, or if we're choosing to be drawn into sadness.

This is a challenge many people face, but acknowledging that joy results from an internal decision is an important step in easing ourselves and preventing avoidance of it. Each step may allow us to move from a state of disappointment to a place where we can choose to see things in a more positive light.

How to Maintain Joy Amid Difficulties?

There are several principles that can help us maintain joy in life, even when life isn't always easy:

1. Gratitude – Every day we focus on what we have, rather than what we lack, can lead to a feeling of satisfaction and joy.
2. Laughter – No matter how simple it sounds, laughter is a powerful tool for releasing stress and tension.
3. Mental Breaks – Knowing to take moments of relaxation amid busy and challenging days.
4. Setting Goals and Objectives – When we have clear goals, we tend to be more focused, which helps maintain internal joy and peace.
5. Situational Optimism – Every difficulty also contains opportunities for improvement and growth, and the ability to see this will impact our quality of life.

In conclusion, joy is not the result of external circumstances but the result of an internal decision. No matter where we are, what our external world's condition is, and if we choose to experience joy or disappointment – it all depends on us. Sometimes, joy requires conscious effort and a difficult choice. However, each time we choose to be joyful, even when it's hard, we strengthen our inner power and understand that joy has always been – and always will be – in our hands.

Orly Samira is a psychotherapist and a therapist at the Department of Cheshan.

The Cheshan Department - Peace of the Home, Children's Education, Peace of Mind offers nationwide therapists. Counseling is available on ZOOM.

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