Excessive Thoughts: What's the Real Cause?

Numerous studies in Israel and around the world report that 70,000 thoughts occupy a person daily, some manifest and some do not.

Sometimes, when a thought arises, a person chooses to dwell on it, fueling it and exploring its different aspects. This creates a mental overload, preventing them from functioning properly.

What's the real motivation behind this? What emotional need does it address?

When a person is not mentally and emotionally stable enough, does not feel secure enough in their worldly conduct, does not feel they can believe in and rely on themselves—they attribute control to themselves to regain a sense of security that masks the everyday insecurity from which they operate.

Obsessing over thoughts ensures control in their view. They think several steps ahead each time to avoid unpleasant surprises.

Such a person, who suffers from the desire to control what exists, will use, as stated, the mental overload, which in fact disconnects them from experiencing the present. They constantly deal with what was and analyze every situation that has already occurred to learn for the next time, and they also analyze data about the future that hasn't arrived yet to be prepared.

This person will act practically with greater intensity, to the level of perfectionism, to again ensure things are under control and everything turns out as they want. They take all necessary actions required of them to create the perfection that exists only in their mind.

These are indeed very calculated people in their steps. They think a lot about what and how to say before speaking, they live in constant doubt, questioning everything, including their thoughts and those of others.

They often use skepticism and embellish their sentences with the word 'maybe,' reflecting their characteristic skepticism.

Their outlook is pessimistic because the desire for control, which guides them, leads them to adopt the mindset that something bad is bound to happen, and they must always be alert and aware of it.

Decision-making, therefore, is not their strong suit, as after every thought another follows that contradicts the previous one.

Moreover, such a person struggles greatly with falling asleep, viewing sleep as a loss of control over reality. They have trained their brain to always be in a state of alertness and readiness, not the relaxed state needed for sleep.

They spend their lives in thoughts about what was and what will be, losing all connection and vitality with the present. They only think about how to live, but don't allow themselves to truly live, to be, to become, and to enjoy what is here and now.

In practice, after all this mental maneuvering, they end up losing control over their lives, the very situation they initially tried to avoid, eventually finding themselves in a kind of whirlpool difficult to exit.

On one hand, letting go of this mental overload will necessarily force them to give up control over reality, but on the other hand, when that happens—they know they won't have the tools to cope and might feel helpless and frustrated in that place. Then, unwillingly, after letting go— the brain signals them again that this is a real danger, and next time they'll calculate their steps again, dedicating more time to thoughts to prevent experiencing that helplessness again.

People suffering from mental overload usually find symptomatic solutions because they mistakenly think the issue is mental overload when it is merely a symptom.

The root of these mental burdens lies in the desire for control over reality, and the desire to ensure everything turns out as one wants—and it is this root that requires a creative approach, coming from a completely different direction.

Addressing the problem should not be about reducing mental overload or creating temporary relief, but in deeply and fundamentally understanding what really caused its emergence.

When a person builds themselves up emotionally and mentally, allowing themselves to be aware of their tools and abilities that are a natural part of their personality, they believe in themselves and can rely on themselves. From this place, they can handle any evolving reality because they know they have the tools.

Emotional stability will prevent excessive and unhelpful use of thoughts, allowing control and regulation of their dosage, enabling immediate concentration and focus on the here and now, and the relaxation required to act from a much more calm and balanced place.

You are welcome to think about it, in the appropriate amount, of course.

Inbal Elhayani, M.A, is a certified therapist in nlp, mindfulness, and guided imagery, writer, and lecturer in the field.