Why Do Men Bless "Who Has Not Made Me a Woman"? 5 Points to Ponder

Attachment to a Newborn

A known psychological phenomenon, mainly encountered by men after their child is born (especially the first-born):

Men observe women getting excited and overly enchanted with their newborn, while they themselves feel joy, yet lack the same excitement and attachment. Is something wrong with them? Why don't they share the same enthusiasm? This feeling bothers them.

Often, to ease this psychological distress, men rationalize that because the baby emerged from the woman's body, she is naturally more attached. While this is partly true, note the fascinating element happening behind the scenes: a chemical in our body called "oxytocin." Its secretion is also related to the mother's connection to the newborn.

Notice, this chemical is secreted at high levels in the brain of the mother and baby during birth, causing a surge of love, excitement, and the forging of a miraculous bond between the mother and the newborn. Furthermore, after birth, with every nursing, touch, caress, hug, deep gaze, kiss, licking, and the hearing of kind and warm words, this hormone brings pleasure, reduces blood pressure, lowers stress, and builds social bonds and trust between the mother and the child.

In His infinite mercy, Hashem ensures that a helpless newborn receives the most dedicated care from the moment of birth, whether in nourishment, physical protection, or emotional warmth. Imagine if the emotional bond between a mother and her newborn only formed months later — would she care for him with such devotion and infinite love? What would happen to the baby, who depends entirely on her?

And I ask, who "created" the oxytocin? Who placed in our bodies the chemical composition so crucial for the mother-newborn bond? Who designed the perfect mix of chemicals essential for preserving the life of the newborn baby? Is it reasonable to claim this all happened "by chance," without planning or guidance?

The Status of Women in Judaism

A secular colleague at work lashed out in fury, claiming that according to the Torah, women are inferior to men: Halacha posits that women are not allowed to testify in court, they're said to have "light minds," and men bless every morning "who has not made me a woman."

Does the Torah truly discriminate against women, or quite the opposite? (From Rabbi Zamir Cohen's lecture - "The Status of Women in Judaism.")

Why is a woman not allowed to testify in court, according to Halacha?

The Torah exempts women from testifying in court cases (anything court-related), unlike men who are obligated, precisely because of their elevated status, to preserve their delicate nature. Anyone who has been in court and watched a witness testify against someone knows it can be unpleasant. Therefore, the Torah essentially tells women, "You are exempt from the stressful environment." It's important to emphasize that this doesn't reflect a lack of trust in women by the Torah. In financial matters they aren't admitted as witnesses, but in much more critical issues - concerning prohibitions and permissibility - she is trusted without question, for example, regarding the kashrut of meat or about family purity – if she tells her husband she has immersed, she is entirely trusted.

What about the sages' statement "Women - their minds are light"?

The sages did not imply, Heaven forbid, that women are mentally deficient. It must be noted that the sages also said, "Extra wisdom was given to women!" Ostensibly there is a contradiction. How can one reconcile this?

In Judaism, there is a distinction between 'wisdom,' 'understanding,' and 'knowledge.' Wisdom - gathering extensive information. Understanding - deducing one thing from another. Knowledge signifies a conclusion, a form of connection.

"Extra understanding was given to women" - this means that women know how to discern details, connect pieces, and infer things that men might overlook. In Judaism, it's known that when a man wants to make an important decision in life, he should consult his wife, as she has insight and will notice things that he might not, thanks to her extra understanding.

So what does "women have light minds" mean? Light = not heavy, movable. In other words: Women have more flexible conclusions. Meaning even when they reach a decision, they're more flexible than men. Put differently, women are not as stubborn as men.

Many also wonder why men bless "who has not made me a woman" in the morning prayers?

Imagine two kings crowned on the same day in two very different countries. One was a prince, born to royalty, now being crowned king. In contrast, the second was not a prince, but a person who strove, worked hard, and proved himself, hence he was chosen to be crowned as king from among all others.

At the coronation ceremony, the first says, "I thank Hashem for being born a prince, to parents who are king and queen, and am now crowned as king." The second says, "I thank Hashem for granting me the opportunity, not being born the son of a king and queen, but through hard work, I reached where I am."

Both are right, aren't they? Both have merits, and neither surpasses the other.

The analogy: A woman, who comes into the world with a higher spiritual status than a man, thanks Hashem: "Blessed is He who made me according to His will," thanking Hashem for being born a woman, born spiritually whole. A man, on the other hand, thanks Hashem: "Blessed is He who has not made me a woman," acknowledging that he has had to strive, labor, build his character, and elevate himself, unlike the woman born a queen without effort.

In other words, a woman's soul is higher than a man's. Because her soul is more complete, she has fewer commandments than the man. And the more commandments a man has, the more he blesses for being created a man, not a woman.

Thus, expressions that seem peculiar, as stated by the sages, acquire new understanding when delving into their precise language and comprehending their deeper meanings.

The sages frequently praise women and care about their status. For instance: "No blessing dwells in a home without the woman's merit"; "A person must love his wife as himself, and honor her even more than himself"; "Extra understanding was given to women."

In conclusion, we can understand the high status of women from the story in the Torah: Sarah asks to expel Hagar and Ishmael from her home, fearing they might spoil Isaac's upbringing. Because Sarah recognized Ishmael's nature better than Abraham, Hashem tells Abraham, "All that Sarah says to you, heed her voice" (Genesis 21:12). A woman has extra understanding. She knows whom to associate with and who might be harmful. When a man listens to his wife's voice, he gains blessing and success.

The Genetic Code

Imagine if we could define every living creature on Earth — every detail — with a unique code detailing all the characteristics of that living being. We would enter a certain code in a computer, displaying all components, features, and attributes of that being. Sounds unbelievable and impossible, but if we look closely, we'll find this "patent" exists in our bodies in a remarkable manner, beyond our comprehension... DNA!

Think of DNA as a recipe or blueprint for creating living beings: DNA is a unique molecule in every living cell, instructing each cell on how to grow and what functions to perform.

All genetic information for protein production in the ant, dolphin, frog, and human is embedded in the DNA structure in a code billions of letters long (a "formula" for the living being). The existence of this code, embedded in every one of the trillions of cells in our bodies, is an incredible discovery on its own.

DNA codes all the traits of the living being: if it will be short or tall, eye color, hair curl pattern, body structure, face shape, fingerprints, susceptibility to diseases, and more. The wonder intensifies when it becomes clear that each living being has unique DNA, from which only its kind can arise!

Thanks to this amazing discovery, researchers can now conduct DNA tests, extracting essential information, like determining if someone is a sibling or family member, identifying disease risks, and more.

Hence, we understand the statement by the famous scientist, Prof. Fred Hoyle, Nobel Prize laureate in Physics:

''The chance that developed life forms arose randomly without a designer is like the chance that a tornado sweeping through a junkyard would create a Boeing 747 from the materials found there..."

The Mystery of Life

The theory of evolution claims a part of the inanimate suddenly gained life, developed, and went through changes over many years.

According to this theory, these astounding changes occurred through "natural selection." That is, although the initial particle came from the inanimate, without a designer and without the intervention of a higher power - a system was randomly created within it, capable of changing into numerous states for adapting to new needs, so what fits survives and what doesn't becomes extinct.

This theory is currently refuted by every scientific measure! Those who uphold the theory of evolution must not only answer how different species evolved but address the most critical question: how did the first life begin? It's clear to all that without divine intervention, there is no natural way for inanimate matter to receive the breath of life and start moving!

If there's no Hashem, Heaven forbid, how did the inanimate receive life? How did inanimate matter gain a soul? How did the inanimate start moving? Have you ever seen a table start to move, talk, think, want things, or communicate with its surroundings?...

Evolution doesn't explain the creation of natural laws or how inanimate matter was embedded with the potential to become living without any divine intervention. Furthermore, the theory of evolution can't explain the origin of life or how it all began. There's no meaning to a theory lacking a logical foundation and explanation of how everything started...

The Merciful Illumination

Who among us hasn't been woken from sleep in the middle of the night by a light that was turned on in the room, becoming exceedingly dazzled by it? The abrupt transition from darkness to light doesn't allow the eyes to open immediately but only after several moments, once the eyes adjust to the light.

Imagine if there were a gradual lighting system that allows sight to adjust to the light after prolonged darkness, it would make life much easier. But no electric company manufactures such a bulb...

Wait, actually, there is such a bulb, which "turns on and off" gradually, allowing optimal adaptation for anyone illuminated by it. What is it? The sun!

Have you ever wondered why sunrise or sunset is gradual? Why doesn't the sun rise all at once? Why does the illuminated part darken gradually, letting night slowly descend?

My friends, there's such wisdom in the sunrise process! A person waking up with sudden light exposure may experience eye pain, leading to potential blindness. Especially the sun — if it rose suddenly, there wouldn't be a single person in the world left able to see! Hence, gradual sunrise allows us to endure the sun's tremendous light.

Gradual sunset and sunrise enable better eyesight adaptation, leading to better functionality. For this, we thank every morning during the morning prayer: "He who lights the earth and those dwelling on it mercifully."