The Name of a Person - Secrets, Rules, and Advice

After understanding a little of the depth embedded in each letter, it becomes easier to comprehend the importance of a person's name and its potential influence—up to a certain extent—on their life.

Generally, the sound of their own name is the most beloved sound for a person to hear. By nature, they feel a profound identification and valued connection to their name, as if it were their embodiment or very soul.

But what is the meaning of this deep feeling? Is it merely an internal psychological process because the name reminds them of themselves?

Additionally, the great Kabbalist Rabbi Yosef Chaim of Baghdad writes in his book "Od Yosef Chai": "It is well-known that mentioning a person by name creates and draws love between them. Therefore, people prefer not to mention their enemy by name, as our sages wrote regarding the verse: 'Why did the son of Jesse not come yesterday or today to eat?' indicating Saul avoided calling David by his name."

Indeed, when meeting a friend on the street and saying "Hello," there is a significant emotional difference if one simply says "Hello" versus adding their name: "Hello, Moshe." The addition of the name creates a wonderful sense of closeness among those meeting. In his book "The Origin of Names," Avraham Shtall recounts how the American president Franklin Roosevelt used this sense of closeness formed by mentioning a person's name to foster his relationships with the public. When he entered to give a lecture, Roosevelt would look around the audience, searching for people he knew by name, saying: "Ah, I see my friend Jacob here, and my long-time acquaintance Sid, and Ivey is also present. No, with such an audience, I don’t need the notes I prepared!" Dramatically throwing aside the paper in his hand, he would begin a speech, creating a pleasant atmosphere of closeness without barriers between the speaker and the audience. What, then, is the origin of this phenomenon? Is it merely a simple psychological process?

On a deep spiritual level, the root of these phenomena, and more complex ones like the influence of changing a patient's name on their recovery, lies in the secret of the letters composing a person's name, which are connected to the root of their soul.

Changing a Family Name

Family names are relatively new, especially in the Jewish world, and do not carry much weight. Historically, most Jews lived in small communities where everyone knew each other by their father's name, so-and-so son of so-and-so, or by occupation, like Yosef the blacksmith, Moshe the cobbler, etc. Only a few, both among Jews and non-Jews, had family names, usually due to some special event in their lives or an honorific title they received.

Among the nations of the world, family names started becoming widespread in medieval Europe, as urban populations grew and several people shared the same appellations—leading to mistakes and mix-ups, primarily in governmental records and lawsuits. One of the well-known state leaders who even legislated the obligation to be called by a family name for organized governmental registration, with many leaders following in his footsteps, was Napoleon of France.

Naturally, over the years, there arose a practical need for family names among Jews, beyond the governmental requirements.

However, since a person carries their family name as part of their identification, one should not take changing it lightly. But it does not hold as much influence from the aspect of the letters' effect on the person carrying it, since it is general for all family members and not unique to the individual, and one should not be overly cautious about changing it like with a first name—provided the change doesn't entail harm or deterioration, such as giving a family name unique to Kohanim or Levites to someone who is not. Nevertheless, out of respect for past generations in the family who bore this name, it is wise not to change the family name unless there is a significant need. Therefore, consulting with a Torah scholar before changing a family name is advisable. If a family name is distinctly foreign, it is good and necessary to change it.

It's not for no reason that when someone is asked "Who are you?" or "Who is the gentleman?", they respond with their name. At the core, it is not only due to simple technical convenience but because within their soul, the person identifies with their name as their true essence. In the book "Noam Elimelech," it is further explained that since the name expresses a person's spiritual essence, when a person sleeps and most parts of their soul are not in their body, even if asleep so deeply that noises and voices cannot awaken them, if called by name, they awake. This is because primarily the name is for the soul and not for the body, and when called by name, the soul is summoned to return to the body. In the book "Toldot Yaakov Yosef," this is likened to: "Just as one grasps a body physically by holding it, so the soul is grasped by calling its name. And in sleep, one is awakened from slumber." Similarly, the "Bnei Yissaschar" wrote: "A person moves and is drawn after their name. The name is like a handle of a tool, whereby the entire tool is lifted."

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