Mental Health: Why Do We Suffer?
Why do we experience mental hardships, and how can we overcome them? "I do not understand why the Rabbi sent you to me, for Hashem has only done good for me, and nothing bad has ever happened to me..."
- הרב זמיר כהן
- פורסם כ"א אב התשע"ז

#VALUE!
In the verses of the Tanach and the words of Chazal, many reasons can be found for suffering in the world, but as mentioned, we do not know which reason applies to each individual case. Here are some possible reasons:
• Cleansing and purifying from stains of sins committed in this lifetime.
• Cleansing and purifying from stains of sins committed in previous lifetimes.
• A shock that disrupts life's routine and prompts a new perspective on life, leading to spiritual elevation in serving Hashem.
• Suffering that comes for the good in merit of a good deed. For example, a woman who was supposed to die young during childbirth, but because she and her husband were generous in giving charity, Elijah the prophet was sent to test them one last time. Because they passed the test, their only cow died instead of the woman. They, unaware of the reason, might have wondered: How could it be that after fulfilling the mitzvah of charity with such devotion, their sole source of livelihood died? Little did they know that this loss was actually their salvation due to the mitzvah.
• A temporary loss that lays the groundwork for a greater future gain.
• A righteous person suffers for the generation's sins. Since all of Israel is like one body, the suffering of a righteous person significantly reduces the weight of Israel's sins. His reward is great, for many are saved from death and severe suffering because of him. Therefore, this suffering is good for him.
• And many more such reasons. However, human wisdom is limited and does not allow one to understand the correct reason for one's own case. It has already been said: "The hidden things belong to Hashem our God," and as Rabbeinu Bachya wrote in the book Chovot HaLevavot, this verse refers to the fact that man cannot know the explanation pertaining to his personal case, but he can understand that there is a correct reason for everything happening to him and that it is all for the good. As Chazal said in the Talmud, "A person should always be accustomed to say: All that the Merciful One does, He does for the good."
To achieve a practical and emotional identification with these concepts, one must first examine whether they have indeed made reasonable natural efforts required in that area, such as seeking medical treatment during illness, searching for a spouse when there are delays in building a family, looking for a job during financial difficulties, and so on. If it becomes clear that they have made all reasonable efforts according to natural means, yet the problem remains unsolved, they should understand and internalize that the delay and suffering are good, even if they cannot see it now. Then not only will they not hate their difficulties, but they will love and rejoice in them. This is the secret to the happiness and joy of the great Torah scholars and people of character at all times and in all situations.
This understanding can be achieved intellectually and rationally through a four-tiered intellectual structure, all of which are knowledge and recognition:
a. There is a Creator of the world
b. Everything is under His supervision, and there is no randomness in the world
c. He loves His creations, including me, and desires only our good
d. He is not limited in His abilities
After internalizing and fully identifying with these four principles, the sufferer should ask themselves:
"Since I know these truths, why doesn't the loving Creator do my will? Is He not limitless? Surely, the One who can create something from nothing and usher in every morning the great fiery orb called the sun, can help me and easily solve my problems. Surely, He desires my good, so why doesn’t He do my will?"
The only true answer is: "Because in His great wisdom and knowledge of the future, He knows that in the end, the benefit will be entirely mine. I am but a small child who cannot understand why my father requires me to attend school and does not allow me to play all day long. The father's wisdom surpasses the child's, his perspective is incomparably broader than the child's, and he knows what awaits the child if he follows only his small understanding. If this is so with a flesh-and-blood father, surely our Father in Heaven knows what is best for me! Especially since this world is a transient world and all is vanity of vanities. From a higher and truer perspective, my worries and troubles are like the troubled worries of a child crying inconsolably over his paper boat that sank in a basin of water. One day I too will grow up and understand that the entire matter I am so pained over is but a fleeting illusion." Thus he will talk and explain to himself until his pain eases. If he wisely educates himself this way when handling small problems during his good times, then even if, God forbid, great troubles come upon him, he is already shaped and equipped with the tools to win the battle and not succumb to mental breakdowns.
A person who bases his life on this outlook lives in constant joy and happiness. He may be surrounded by difficulties and appear to be a man of suffering, but he feels good about himself, whole and happy with his state. Chazal taught us that those who live by this wonderful worldview are happy with their lot even if they lack riches and are considered poor by the world, but in truth, they are the richest! After all, wealth is a relative matter, and if a millionaire tosses and turns with worry and envy because he lacks a private jet like his friend, he is essentially poor. For the very sensation of lack is the definition of poverty. Whereas the one who is happy with his lot, even if he lacks money, the very feeling of fulfillment makes him rich. For who is wealthier than one who is full?!
Happy with His Lot
It is told about the righteous Rabbi Zusha of Anipoli that once the students of the Maggid of Mezritch asked their Rabbi to explain the saying of Chazal in the Mishnah, "A person must bless the bad as he blesses the good," and further stated in the Talmud to do so with joy. How can one reach such a level? Their Rabbi answered: "Go to Rabbi Zusha, my students, and he will answer you." They went and found him in a poor and modest home, living frugally, with even bread only scarcely available, and his clothing worn and worn out, yet he was joyous and engaged in holy work with great enthusiasm. When he heard their question, he wondered and replied: "I do not understand why the Rabbi sent you to me, for Hashem has only done good for me, and nothing bad has ever happened to me..."
In other words, wealth or poverty does not depend on the quantity or lack of money but rather on one's attitude towards their situation. And a person who knows that they are under the constant supervision of the Creator, who gives them the true good, becomes naturally happy with their lot.
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