Finding Good in Others — How Can It Change Your Destiny?

In Parashat Kedoshim (Leviticus 19:15), we learn about the commandment "Judge your fellow with righteousness". Maimonides, in the Book of Commandments, defines this mitzvah as "the commandment given to judges to balance between the litigants," meaning to be fair and allow each side to express their claims equally and fairly. Maimonides also mentions another interpretation of this commandment: "that a person must judge their neighbor favorably, interpreting their actions and words with goodness and kindness."

There are many commandments in the Torah regarding righteous judgment, among them the prohibition of taking a bribe, the prohibition of inclining the judgment in favor of one side for any preconceived reason, the prohibition for a judge to be influenced by the opinions of other judges, and more.

We might mistakenly think that the topic of righteous judgment refers only to the legal system and judges, but if we reflect on it, we'll see that each of us conducts many internal "judgments" daily.

The commandment in the Torah, "Judge your fellow with righteousness," and the teaching in Pirkei Avot (Chapters of the Fathers, 1:1), "Be deliberate in judgment," refer not only to judges but also to each and every one of us. We should be cautious with every judgment and criticism that arises in our thoughts toward others.

Avodat Hashem — Even in Thought

Just as we are commanded to observe Shabbat, purity, kashrut, Pesach, etc., and we make efforts for these mitzvot, we are commanded to examine our thoughts and make changes in them according to the Torah commandments! There are negative thoughts we should simply ignore and reject, and there are thoughts that we need to examine more deeply and make efforts to change. Service of Hashem pertains not only to actual deeds, but to the three garments of the soul: thought, speech, and action.

There are situations where it is easy for us to "judge favorably" — to interpret others' actions and words positively. But the mitzvah also refers to situations where the positive is not clearly visible. We are required not to let negative judgmental and critical thoughts lead us, but to undertake a process of seeking merits and finding the positive in each situation.

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov wrote (Likutey Moharan 282): "Know that one must judge everyone favorably, and even someone who is completely wicked, one must seek and find a little good...Through this, he truly raises him to merit and can bring him to repentance; this is the concept of 'And a little more, and there will be no wicket one; you shall consider his place, and he will not be there' (Psalms 37:10)." In other words, when we undergo the process of thinking in favor of others, we elevate them spiritually from guilt to merit, and even a wicked person escapes the definition of "wicked."

The Rebbe of Lubavitch said, "Everyone must act to instill this trait in their soul — to judge their fellow favorably, so much so that even when a friend's behavior seemingly excludes any merit, one should turn it into merit, and as a result, also do everything possible to bring him back and set him on the right path." These words apply to every Jew because every Jew has a holy divine soul, which is their true essence, and any negativity in a Jew is external, but not from a deep and inner place. When a person repents, they become a completely new creation!

Seeing the Merit — The Deep and Inner Truth of the Situation

In the Talmud in Tractate Shabbat (127b), there is a wondrous and instructive story showing the necessity of seeking merit and how seeing merit is inherently seeing the truth.

The story is told of a Jew who left his home in the Upper Galilee and was hired for work in the south for three years. During this time, he did not see his wife and children. On the eve of Yom Kippur, after three years of hard work, he approached his employer and asked for his wages in coins before returning home. The employer said, "I have nothing." He asked for his wages in fruits, and the employer said, "I have nothing." He asked for wages in land, and the employer said, "I have nothing." He asked for his wages in animals, and the employer said, "I have nothing." He asked for his wages in pillows and blankets, and the employer said, "I have nothing."

The worker turned to return home with disappointment, pain, and disillusionment.

After the holiday, the employer came to the worker's house with his due wages, along with gifts. The employer asked the worker how he interpreted the fact that he said he had no coins, no fruits, no land, no animals, and no pillows and blankets. Despite the very puzzling situation and despite the worker's shock and emotional pain, he assumed that perhaps the employer had consecrated all his possessions to heaven, and therefore had no money or property of his own. The employer confirmed that this was indeed the reason and added, "Just as you judged me favorably, may the Almighty judge you favorably."

Life Guidance

This Talmudic story brings a saying of our sages "He who judges his neighbor favorably is judged favorably." Each of us can find areas where we also need to be judged favorably In order to achieve this, one must learn to judge others favorably.

We live in exile, a state of concealment and obscurity, and we do not have the ability to see the whole picture and understand everything perfectly. The only one who sees everything is Hashem! We must therefore be very careful not to judge others harshly, as we may cause great injustice by doing so.

The process of judging favorably also concerns the collective of Israel or parts of it including the various communities and ethnic groups. There are many stories about the righteous throughout generations, from the patriarchs until today, who taught favorably about the people of Israel and thus provided protection for the Jewish people. As it is said in some versions of the Birkat Hamazon, "From above, they will teach us merit, for it shall be a safeguard of peace." Favorably judging the people of Israel provides physical and spiritual protection, and every time we personally strive to judge favorably, we strengthen the protection over the people of Israel and each individual within Israel.