The Neighbor's Field: What Happens When We Compare Our Lives to Others?

Social comparison is one of the most common psychological realities in modern culture. Almost all of us find ourselves comparing our lives to those of others—whether it’s in our work, relationships, personal success, or physical appearance. The neighbor's field always looks greener, and it seems that the lives of others are better. What really happens when we compare ourselves to others? How does it affect our self-worth, and is there a way to overcome this urge and feel better about ourselves?

The Psychology and Consequences of Social Comparison

Social comparison is natural and begins in childhood. According to psychologists, we use comparisons to measure our value and assess our place in society.

While social comparison can serve as a source of motivation and inspiration, it can also negatively impact our sense of capability. When we compare ourselves to people who are more successful or living seemingly perfect lives, we tend to feel worse about ourselves which can lead to low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, and the sense that we are not good enough.

In the digital age, when we are constantly exposed to images and information about "perfect" lives on social media, this sense of comparison only intensifies. Vacations, business successes, and family events, all can lead to feelings of frustration, as we are exposed to the achievements of others, but not always the struggles and costs associated with them.

Social Media – A Distorted Mirror of Reality

Social networks create the illusion of perfect lives where everyone is successful all the time. But we don’t see the filters that hide the truth behind every photo—the moments of weakness, the struggles, and the difficulties occurring behind the scenes.

The impact of social media doesn’t stop at positive moments only—it also establishes standards of beauty, success, and economic prosperity that can seem unattainable. This is a global issue that is starting to concern mental health professionals, who discuss the increased stress which leads to thoughts about "what we lack" in life.

How to Deal with Social Comparison?

Gratitude and appreciation for what we have: Every day, notice three things that you are grateful for. Focusing on the abundance of good things and blessings in our lives diminishes the power of comparison.

Take a break from social media: If you find yourself frequently comparing yourself to others, it might be worth taking a break from social media. This free time may allow us to think more clearly about what truly matters.

Comparison with oneself: Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we can compare ourselves to our past version. Have we improved? Have we developed? The real challenge is to be a better version of ourselves every day.

Stopping judgment: We all tend to judge ourselves by what we see in others but it’s important to remember that life is not always as it appears on the outside. The laughter and happy moments of others  is only part of the picture.

The neighbor's field may always seem greener, but it's important to remember that the success of others doesn't disqualify our success. Social comparison is an inseparable part of our lives, but it can lead us to negative places if we don't maintain the right perspective. Rather than feeling bad about what we lack, we can focus on what we have and appreciate our personal achievements. Happiness is not found in the success of others, but in our personal process of growth, learning, and progress.