Stop Hearing and Start Listening: 7 Steps for Immediate Change

Active listening is not just a social skill but allows us to be more empathetic, understanding, and connected. When you transition from "hearing" to "listening," this will improve your relationships and also better you as a person.

1. Stop Thinking About What to Say

Often during conversations, we are simply waiting our turn to speak instead of truly listening. Genuine listening requires setting aside prepared responses and making room for the words of the person in front of us. Focus on what they are saying, not what you want to say.

2. Be Present in the Moment

Do not let thoughts of future tasks or worries distract you. When you listen, be with the person in front of you—physically and emotionally. And, of course, maintain eye contact.

3. Don't Rush to Judge

True listening requires us to hear the opinions and feelings of others without judgment. Give the other person space to express themselves.

4. Use Open-Ended Questions

Instead of offering immediate solutions, ask questions that can help the person delve deeper and share more. Questions like "How did you feel?" or "What do you think could help?" allow the person to feel understood.

5. Avoid Distractions

When you listen, give the conversation your full attention. Don't glance at your phone or fiddle with your computer. Proper listening requires concentration, and the more focused you are, the deeper and more meaningful the conversation will be.

6. Listen to the Emotions Behind the Words

Often, what is said doesn't necessarily reflect what the person truly feels. Pay attention to the tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. Sometimes, effective listening is about understanding what goes unsaid.

7. Conclude the Conversation with Understanding

Before ending a conversation, try to reflect on what was said: "I hear that you're feeling frustrated because of work." This shows that you truly listened and understand the experience of the other person.