Personality Development
Unconditional Love Will Upgrade Your Life
How can we rise above judgment and love unconditionally?
- Moriah Chen
- פורסם ב' חשון התשפ"ה

#VALUE!
When discussing the concepts of "unconditional love" and "baseless hatred," we often think of the Second Temple which our sages say was destroyed primarily as a result of baseless hatred. We are taught that to rebuild the temple, we must transform unnecessary hatred into pure love. How can we succeed in loving without conditions?
What is "Unconditional Love"?
The concept of "unconditional love" describes love that does not depend on anything, but simply because the person is created in the image of Hashem. In Judaism, unconditional love is a supreme moral value, the opposite of hatred, which is born out of jealousy, anger, and narrow-mindedness.
It can be difficult for us to practice unconditional love because it is our tendency to view the world through our own eyes, with expectations, assumptions, and internal criticism. When someone doesn't meet our expectations, we tend to judge them harshly and even develop negative feelings towards them.
Additionally, as society tends to emphasize personal achievements and continuous comparison between people, this can lead to jealousy and cause people to drift apart.
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How to Overcome? Practical Advice for Unconditional Love
1. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to reduce negative feelings towards others and to enhance love. Instead of judging each person we meet or trying to evaluate their traits, it's helpful to think of one positive thing we can thank them for. For example, when a person helps us, expressing gratitude contributes to positive feelings towards them.
2. Active Empathy
Empathy is one of the most beneficial skills for improving relationships. When we try to understand the world of the person in front of us, the difficulties they experience, and how they perceive things, much of our judgmentalism dissolves. By asking ourselves: "If I were in their place, what would be difficult for me? What would cause me to act this way?", and by connecting with them, we can love them even if they are different from us or have wronged us in some way.
3. Maintain a Sense of Unity
We are all created in the image of Hashem. This sense of unity emphasizes that we are deeply connected, beyond the boundaries of time and place. When we see all people as messengers of Hashem in this world, it is easier for us to connect with them.
4. Focus on the Strengths of Others
Instead of focusing on what's lacking in others, we can notice their strengths. Every person has unique and positive traits, and when we pay attention to these qualities, we experience fewer negative feelings.
5. Forgive – Yourself and Others
Unconditional love is essentially a form of release from anger and the burden of negative feelings. When we forgive others, we release ourselves from the emotional weight that burdens us. Practicing forgiveness, even in small things, softens our hearts and allows for purer and healthier love towards others.
Examples from Life for Applying Unconditional Love
Kind Words at Work – Instead of resenting a colleague who has made a mistake or not completed a task correctly, we can praise them for the things they do well. Kind words not only help them but also change our attitude towards them.
Adopting the Trait of Generosity – In a social gathering of family or friends, we can offer help without conditions, such as serving drinks or offering a ride. These actions can create strong feelings of love and mutual appreciation.
Expressing Gratitude for Daily Things – Each day, take a moment to thank the people around us- a spouse, a child, or even the grocery store clerk. Recognizing and expressing gratitude to others fosters positive relationships and distances negative feelings.
A Daily Act of Kindness - Each day, try to do a good deed for someone, even if they are a stranger. Such actions encourage a general feeling of love and create human closeness.
Unconditional love is not only a high religious value, but a tool for a happier life, healthier social relationships, and a world with less hatred and tension. Choosing to activate love without conditions sometimes requires effort, but ultimately rewards us with inner peace and joy. In every encounter with another person, we have the choice to see the good in them, understand their world, and develop a sense of connection that brings a little more light and love to the world.