From Fleeting Pleasure to Lasting Joy: Finding Meaning in Life’s Experiences

In a previous article we discussed how real pleasure, according to Jewish tradition, is gifted to us by the Creator. We now continue with another dimension of that manifestation.

Many people do not ask about the meaning of life- their goal is simply to get the most out of it while they can. In contrast, others engage their sense of inquiry and ask deep questions, often seeking answers in the Torah. Interestingly, both groups are looking for happiness and fulfillment, but their results are very different.

Why does the first group often fail to find what they’re looking for? The answer can be summed up in a quote by Irish author and playwright Oscar Wilde (1854–1900): “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want, and the other is getting it. The latter is the real tragedy.”

Chances are, you’ve experienced this yourself. Perhaps you had a dream, worked hard to achieve it, and even succeeded, but after the initial excitement wore off, a sense of emptiness crept in.

You might push back on that and ask: “Why would I feel disappointed after getting what I wanted most?” However, real-life experience often proves otherwise. Once we attain our goals, we tend to stop appreciating them.

Imagine, for example, a long-awaited trip you’ve dreamed about for years. The day finally comes. You’re packing with joy and excitement. Your heart is racing as you head to the airport. The plane takes off, and you arrive at a luxury hotel. You eat, drink, and explore breathtaking sights. As the days go by, you realize that it’s coming to an end. You want time to stand still. All you can think about is how sad it will be to leave.

From that moment on, you try to savor what’s left, but there’s a growing sense of futility. Time keeps ticking. Soon, all you’ll have are "good memories". At this stage, you’re no longer enjoying the experience itself- you’re already missing it. By the end of the trip, you may find yourself thinking, “So what? It didn’t really change anything.” The vacation’s over, and your regular routine returns.

This doesn’t only happen with travel- it applies to almost every pleasure we chase including food, wealth, even life itself- when those experiences are pursued as ends in themselves.

This isn’t meant to sound pessimistic or to devalue your day-to-day life. On the contrary, the goal is to illustrate how these pleasures can be made more meaningful and lasting. We should make the most of life, but in a deeper, more enduring way. The Torah offers a path to living with authentic satisfaction, without illusions and letdowns.

If we want to make a moment eternal, we must internalize it and make it part of who we are. This is an abstract idea, but it becomes practical when we learn to grow through every experience. If a moment changes us for the better, then even after it ends, its impact lives on inside us.

The experience doesn’t need to last because its role is complete once it helps us evolve. The pleasure from that growth is eternal. The purpose of life isn’t to collect experiences, but to use them for inner transformation.

We all go through ups and downs. The key is to use every moment to pursue growth and personal wholeness. When we do, every life experience becomes a building block in something far more meaningful and lasting.

Go on that vacation, but make it part of your higher purpose. If you travel to rest, so you can return refreshed and better equipped to do good in the world, that trip will never truly end- it will become part of who you are.

Let’s take a simpler example: perhaps you’ve always wanted to taste a certain chocolate that is rich, expensive, and indulgent. One day someone gifts it to you. To avoid the inevitable disappointment that often follows such indulgences, reframe it. Think: “This chocolate is so special- it gives me a deep sense of gratitude. I can now make a blessing I’ve never made before with such sincerity.” That moment of blessing creates meaning. Long after the chocolate is gone, the joy remains, because it helped you connect to something bigger than the treat itself.

Regardless if what happens to you seems good or bad, when you can turn every moment into a catalyst for growth, you’ll find lasting joy. Experiences are tied to time, and time exists only to hold our actions in this world. The experiences pass, but who we’ve become endures forever.

When you live this way, you’ll always feel content, without the gnawing sense of emptiness that shows up when you don’t understand the why behind what you’re doing.

From the book "Dan's Quest for the Meaning of Life," by Roni Dayan.