Divine Connection: How to Build a Personal Relationship with G-d

Hashem loves me?! How is that possible? How can G-d love a simple, mortal being like me? What makes me worthy?

Imagine if the president of your country thought about you and deeply cared for you. That would be astonishing, right? This is exactly what takes place between us and G-d. No matter who you are or what you do, you cannot begin to measure G-d’s love for you. All the goodness He bestows upon humanity, He does so with the awareness that each person is unique and irreplaceable. You matter to Him as though you were the only person on earth, and He never stops thinking about you. He watches you closely, evaluates your actions, gives you challenges, and hopes for your success. He longs for that love to be mutual, but even if it isn’t, He continues to love you.

We’ve already reflected on the immense power of love when it connects two people. But our relationship with G-d is far greater- it is the very purpose of creation. In fact, human love is merely the training ground for learning how to love G-d.

This relationship has a unique nature: On one hand, G-d is the closest being we’ll ever know. He knows our thoughts, our emotions, and our needs better than anyone else. He walks with us every step of the way, never leaves our side, never betrays us, and can respond to our every need.

And yet, despite our awareness of His presence, it’s often difficult to find Him, because our senses can’t detect Him. We are unable to see or touch Him. To stay in touch with G-d, we must use reason and remember that He’s by our side all the time.

Jewish history is full of moments reflecting this dynamic. Sometimes we experience an intense relationship with G-d, whereas other times, we lose connection because we are distracted by materialism or disconnected from our intellect and heart. But G-d is always there, patiently waiting for us to return. This dynamic is beautifully portrayed in Song of Songs, King Solomon’s poetic depiction of a lover seeking her beloved, which is an allegory for the relationship between the Jewish people and their Creator.

True, connecting to G-d isn’t easy, but once we succeed, it brings unparalleled joy and fulfillment.

Strengthening the Bond

There are two key ways to strengthen our connection with G-d:

1. Open Communication

2. Giving of Yourself to Others

Every person communicates with G-d, even atheists. When we say things like “I hope this works out,” we’re invoking the help of a higher force, whether or not we’re conscious of it. It’s our soul speaking the truth it knows deep down: that G-d is the source of all power. The sages even say that a thief prays for success before committing his crime. Our communication with G-d flows in both directions: we speak to Him, and He speaks to us.

Talking to G-d

To begin, we must get used to speaking to G-d daily. Before any task, we should ask for His help- for health, livelihood, success, wisdom- and thank Him for what we receive. This communication should be constant, heartfelt, and in our own words.

Prayer itself is a powerful therapy. Everyone needs someone they trust to talk to, but not everyone has someon who listens sincerely and can actually help. G-d is always available, patient, and completely capable of providing us with assistance.

In addition to speaking to G-d in our own words, our sages gave us structured prayers that help guide us in building a healthy spiritual relationship. These prayers, found in the siddur (Jewish prayer book), provide an ideal framework for communication- from the moment we wake to the moment we sleep. The central expression of this connection is the Amidah (standing prayer), recited three times a day.

Leading into the Amidah are blessings of praise and thanks to G-d, but the most intimate moments are in the Amidah itself. In those moments, we must be emotionally and mentally prepared to stand before G-d and speak to Him as a living reality. We must believe that if our requests are for our good, G-d will grant them- and this belief brings profound peace. With this knowledge, we can be calm, and trust that there is no problem He cannot resolve.

We’ve all encountered leaders and experts in various fields- but none of them can solve every problem, nor can they fully understand us. They might say, “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,” but it doesn’t always soothe us. They don’t always grasp the depth of our struggle. But with G-d, we are in conversation with someone who fully knows us and truly has the power to help.

You might wonder if it would be better to simply speak your own spontaneous prayers. There are places within the Amidah for your personal requests, and spontaneous prayer throughout the day is not only allowed but encouraged.

Still, our sages knew better than anyone what is good for us and how we ought to pray. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we truly need. Like someone who may not realize it’s raining and doesn’t ask for an umbrella, we may not always grasp our deeper needs. Structured prayers, like the Amidah, were composed by the sages with a broader view, to reflect our real needs.

To deepen your connection through prayer, it’s essential to understand what you’re saying. Ask for help or study the meaning so that you don’t need to settle for words you don’t comprehend.

Listening to G-d

Communication goes both ways and G-d also speaks to us. Many people assume that only prophets heard G-d’s voice. However, prophecy was simply a clearer, more direct experience of a reality that is always there. G-d is constantly communicating with us through events in our lives.

The challenge is understanding His messages. If someone receives speeding tickets three days in a row at the same location, perhaps the message is, “Slow down here. This is dangerous.” Or imagine someone on their way to a place they shouldn’t be going, and they unexpectedly bump into their rabbi. Then they notice a religious item on the ground or a series of obstacles blocks their path. Perhaps G-d is saying, “Remember Me. You can still turn back.”

Another way G-d communicates with us is through the Torah itself. When we study, we are listening to His words. Everything we need to hear is in our sacred texts- our role is to listen and understand.

A connection with G-d is within reach for every single individual. Strengthening it is a life-changing pursuit, and the more we invest in it, the more we receive in return.

From the book "Dan’s Journey for Meaning in Life," by Roni Dayan. To purchase the book on Hidabroot Shops, click here