Want to Eat Healthy? Start Exercising? Quit Smoking? How to Change Habits

Habits shape our lives, behavior, and thinking patterns. When we realize that a certain habit is unhelpful or even harmful, the need to change it arises. Rabbi Yitzchak Fanger, known as a sought-after and popular speaker in the personal development field, offers a unique approach to changing habits based on deep insights and extensive experience in working with people.

(The article is based on advice he has given in his lectures, books, and programs)

First Step: Awareness and the Desire to Change

Awareness is the recognition that the current habit negatively impacts our lives and needs to change. Awareness is the ability to observe oneself and recognize the impact of habits on our lives. Without this recognition, the process of change cannot begin. Rabbi Fanger emphasizes the importance of paying attention to thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and asks attendees of his lectures, "What is something you would like to change about yourself?" Only when a person acknowledges the need for change can they begin this process.

Second Step: Commitment and Setting Goals

One must commit to change deeply and see it as part of their personal and spiritual growth process. Here, the concept of setting goals becomes important. Rabbi Fanger recommends setting clear, small, and practical goals. When we set small and achievable goals, we can avoid feelings of frustration or failure. The small goals allow us to see progress and persist in the change process.

Third Step: Gradual Implementation and Maintaining Consistency

Changing habits does not happen overnight, but is a process that takes time and requires perseverance. In this step, the person begins to change old habits in small and deliberate steps. Change can be a challenging process, and it is therefore important to avoid pressure and focus on progress, rather than immediate results. Rabbi Fanger also stresses the importance of support from the environment which can help us remain motivated and persist in the change process, especially during difficult times.

Comparison to Other Approaches

Other approaches to changing habits such as behavioral psychology discusses the importance of reward and punishment in the process of changing habits. According to this approach, when we reward ourselves for performing a desired behavior, we reinforce it and when we ignore undesirable behavior, we weaken it. This approach focuses on reinforcement and external conditioning, while Rabbi Fanger focuses on internal and spiritual change.

Another interesting approach is that of Dr. Stephen Covey, author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." Covey explains the need to set a personal vision and take a broad view of life to create sustainable change in habits. He emphasizes the importance of working on core habits that affect all areas of life, such as time management, creating positive relationships, and reducing stress.

What about Setbacks and Challenges?

Rabbi Fanger sees setbacks as an integral part of the process. He explains that setbacks are not failures but opportunities to learn, grow stronger, and move forward. He believes the setbacks allow a person to better understand themselves, their boundaries, and the areas where they need more work.

Rabbi Fanger emphasizes the importance of patience and self-compassion in the change process- instead of giving in to feelings of frustration or despair, one should view setbacks as a learning experience and focus on what can be learned from them. Setbacks are part of the journey and test persistence and commitment to change.

Rabbi Fanger explains the importance of self-acceptance and connecting with Hashem to overcome setbacks. Every change is a process made of many steps, and each step brings one closer to the goal, even if the journey is not always smooth.

What Habits Can Be Changed in This Way?

Following are some examples of habits that can be changed:

1. Spiritual Habits

• Strengthening in prayer and observance of mitzvot: Many of us strive to improve our connection with the Creator, and Rabbi Fanger talks about enhancing one's spiritual work as a habit that can be improved.
• Daily Torah Study: Maintaining consistency in study may be difficult, and the rabbi offers ways to establish a daily routine of Torah study.

2. Health Habits

• Healthy eating: Transitioning to a balanced and healthy diet can be challenging but is not impossible.
• Physical exercise: Consistency in physical activity is a positive habit encouraged by the rabbi.

3. Social and Behavioral Habits

• Time management: Improving how we use our time to be more productive.
• Respect for others: Habits related to mutual respect and improving relationships with others, such as avoiding gossip or disagreements.

4. Emotional and Mental Habits

• Coping with stress: Changing habits related to managing stress and tension in life. The rabbi offers tools for dealing more calmly with complex life situations.
• Developing positive thoughts: Instead of getting stuck in negative or self-critical thoughts, the rabbi encourages adopting a more positive approach to life.

5. Addictive Habits

• Quitting smoking or overcoming other harmful habits: Overcoming addictions is a complex process, but is possible with persistence, support, and spiritual guidance.