The Social Science of Observant Jews: Are They Better at Relationships?

It may surprise you, but only 10.8% of the ultra-Orthodox report feelings of loneliness, compared to more than twice that in other groups in the population (22-25.9%) (Central Bureau of Statistics, 2016 Social Survey).

91% of the ultra-Orthodox feel appreciated by their family members, compared to about 85% in other groups (CBS, Family Appreciation).

Why is this so?

Guidance and Commandments of the Torah

Judaism places significant importance on positive relationships, and the Torah commands and guides us how to achieve this.

Following are some Torah commandments that create a pleasant and comfortable social climate, and can become an integral part of one's personality.

Do not speak *lashon hara* (gossip). Even truthful speech, unless it brings benefit, such as saving someone from falling into a swindler's trap. (Self-benefit in this world: an internal sense of pleasantness mixed with a strong moral compass and a positive surrounding environment).

Judge favorably. (Self-benefit in this world: a positive outlook that creates feelings of tranquility and calmness, without bitterness and anger towards the world).

Do not take revenge or bear a grudge. (Self-benefit in this world: a happy heart and healthy body and spirit).

Do not hate. It is permissible to act to correct wrongs done by others, but hatred is prohibited. (Self-benefit in this world: A loving heart is a happy heart. A hating heart, the opposite).

Act honestly in monetary matters. (Self-benefit in this world: life without fears and pressures, moreover, a reputation for reliability, highly valued and beneficial in business).

Give charity to the needy and lend during difficult times. (Self-benefit in this world: kindness, self-fulfillment, and happiness).

There are many other commandments that contribute to the health of body and soul, in addition to the spiritual and essential benefit found in each one (from the third volume of the book "The Transformation", pages 88-89).

Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, two leading researchers in the field of positive psychology, studied "very happy people" and compared them to those less happy. The external factor that distinguished the two groups was "rich and satisfying social relationships". This strongly supports the idea that those following the Torah and its commandments, do not only benefit in the World to Come, but are also happier in this world.