Why Torah Education Builds Stronger, Happier, and More Resilient Children

Studies show that students tend to perform better academically when boys and girls are educated in separate frameworks. Explanations for these findings indicate that co-educational environments often increase inequality and reduce opportunities for girls to thrive, as boys tend to dominate classroom dynamics.

Research finds that boys are given more opportunities to speak, are addressed more frequently by teachers, and are encouraged more to pursue academic ambition. Girls, on the other hand, often become “invisible” when in a classroom together with boys.

Girls in single-gender schools report a more positive view of school, higher self-confidence, greater exposure to female role models in leadership and educational roles, and more opportunities to stand out and take initiative.

In single-gender classrooms, boys are also less distracted by the presence of girls, which has a clear impact on their academic performance.

Delayed Gratification

The significant gap in criminal records between minors enrolled in religious schools versus those in general public schools can, in part, be attributed to the cultivation of delayed gratification in religious education.

From a young age, children in Torah-based schools are trained to delay gratification. For example, they learn to recite blessings before eating, they wait between eating meat and dairy, they are taught to observe social boundaries by respecting others, refraining from impulsive behavior, and avoiding verbal or physical aggression.

A well-known study that illustrates this principle is Walter Mischel’s 1970 “Marshmallow Test,” where children were given the choice between eating one marshmallow now or waiting to receive a second one. Years later, those who were able to wait demonstrated stronger relationships, better financial stability, and greater overall life success.

While in secular schools students are often taught not to do certain things primarily because of legal consequences (e.g., going to jail), the Torah worldview teaches that one should refrain from wrongdoing because it is inherently wrong- even if one knows they will not get caught.

This idea is beautifully illustrated in the story of Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev. On Passover eve, he sent his disciples to find contraband silk, which was illegal to trade at the time. They succeeded. He then asked them to find chametz (leavened bread) owned by a Jew. After a long search, they returned empty-handed. The rabbi stood up and exclaimed: “Master of the Universe! Look at the unique nature of Your people: The Russian emperor, with his armies, navy, and prisons, cannot stop illegal trade in silk. But You merely commanded Your people not to possess chametz, and despite no police or guards, there is not a crumb of chametz in a single Jewish home!”

Assimilation

Sometimes, parents keep their child in a school that does not align with their Torah values, for reasons of convenience. As the child grows up and travels abroad, it’s not uncommon for them to meet a non-Jewish partner and decide to marry, thus cutting off the family’s Jewish lineage.

Parents often assume that what is obvious and sacred to them will also be obvious to their child. But this is not always the case. When the child chooses a different path, the parents are left in deep sorrow, realizing that the lack of Jewish education and exposure to values has resulted in assimilation- a choice they are now powerless to reverse.

Emotional Resilience and Life Coping Skills

Western culture, which has unfortunately seeped into our society, teaches children from a very young age to "take all they can" from this world. In such a mindset, the only limit to indulgence is the fear of police enforcement.

This is a core reason for the emotional emptiness and depression commonly found among youth and adults educated outside of Torah values. Without spiritual meaning and inner discipline, many young people struggle to cope with life’s challenges. If they are taught that material pleasure is life’s ultimate goal, they lose all sense of joy and even the will to live, when pleasure, wealth, or comfort are lacking.

In contrast, Torah-true education offers children a model of life with eternal spiritual purpose. Parents and teachers who truly fear Heaven become living examples of restraint and values, even when there is no tangible gain. They will pass up an ice cream on a hot summer day if it lacks a proper kosher certification. They will stop mid-sentence to avoid speaking lashon hara (gossip). They will lend something to a neighbor even if he refused them the day before- because the Torah forbids revenge.

Blessed are the parents who, through years of dedication, succeed in instilling within their children the clarity that true goodness lies in living a life defined by the sacred boundaries set by the Creator. From Shabbat and tefillin to charity, kindness, Torah study, and healthy self-restraint- these values enrich life with deep meaning and long-term happiness.

In Torah schools, children are taught that “Everything Hashem does is for the good,” and to place their trust in G-d. They learn that reasonable effort is enough, and Hashem will take care of the outcome. This eliminates anxiety and fear, replacing them with emotional resilience and inner peace. In times of crisis, they are taught to pray directly to their Creator which provides them with spiritual tools and psychological strength to weather life’s storms.