Self-Compassion and Non-Judgment: The Gift to Give Yourself After the Holiday

Passover, with all its significance and importance, can leave us with mixed feelings. 

We of course enjoy spending time with family and friends, festive meals and celebrating. But we might have also faced challenges, disappointments, feelings of guilt over overeating, strained relationships, or emotional and social pressures.

Bring faith into your life, and remember that it's a test and an opportunity for inner work. The most valuable gift we can give ourselves is self-compassion and non-judgment.

Non-judgment is an approach of acceptance and self-compassion, allowing us to address our mistakes calmly and constructively, without harsh criticism or unnecessary guilt.

Following are several ways to apply non-judgment in daily life.

1. Accept yourself as you are. Understand that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Accept yourself with all your flaws and weaknesses, and remind yourself that you deserve love and respect.

Be patient and considerate with yourself. Understand that we are human, and it's natural to sometimes feel out of sorts.

2. Focus on learning from the mistake. Instead of focusing on failure, ask yourself what you can learn from your experience. What can be done differently next time?

3. Forgive yourself. After identifying the mistake and learning from it, it's time to forgive yourself. Let go of guilt and anger, and move on with your life.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others only leads to negative feelings such as envy, insecurity, and anger. Focus on your personal journey, and take pride in your achievements, both big and small.

5. Practice self-compassion. Be patient and considerate with yourself, especially during tough times. Speak to yourself gently and compassionately, as you would to a beloved friend.

6. Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Be mindful of how you talk to yourself. Are you using critical and judgmental language? Replace negative expressions with positive and empowering ones.

7. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness will help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without judging them. It's a great tool for developing self-compassion and non-judgment.

In Practice

Focus on the positive things that took place during the holiday, even if they are small. One of the fundamental assumptions in NLP is that "energy flows where attention goes".

Thank yourself for your efforts and what you have learned.

Release feelings of guilt and worries. Non-judgment means not criticizing ourselves harshly for mistakes we've made.

Instead, you can:

Understand what caused the mistake.

Learn from the mistake.

Forgive yourself.

Promise yourself to do better next time.

Tips for Practice

• Practice meditation or mindfulness.
• Engage in free writing or keep a personal journal.
• Talk to Hashem. He's available at every moment.
• Discuss with a friend or emotional therapist.
• Listen to calming music.
• Spend time in nature.
• Remind yourself of all the good things in your life.
• Be grateful for what you have.

Self-compassion and non-judgment can be learned and developed over time. Non-judgment is a process of personal growth and takes time and practice. Don't be discouraged if you occasionally fall back into negative thought patterns- simply return to practicing self-compassion and non-judgment, and you'll see that with time, your attitude will change for the better.

The more we train ourselves, the better we'll feel and find more peace and satisfaction in our lives.

Passover is behind us, but the gift of self-compassion and non-judgment can stay with us forever.

Use it to make your life better and happier.

Dr. Rina Mordo, PhD, is a Master Trainer in NLP.