Why Do Ultra-Orthodox Jews Divorce Less?

1. Loyalty

Loyalty between partners is fundamental to a long-lasting marriage but becomes difficult to maintain when emotional connections between men and women at work or in social settings get in the way.

It is therefore not surprising that among Torah-observant communities, the divorce rate is very low. By adhering to basic principles of modesty and maintaining boundaries between genders, couples can preserve their love, free from the challenges of cross-gender friendships and comparison to others. 

2. Growing Apart

One of the biggest dangers to a strong marriage is boredom and emotional distance that builds up over time. The daily routine can wear down even the closest couples, sometimes leading to feelings of indifference or even intolerance.

Judaism offers a powerful and unique tool to keep marriages fresh: family purity laws (taharat hamishpacha). These guidelines introduce regular cycles of closeness and separation that actually help couples reset and renew their connection over and over again.

Human nature drives us to seek pleasure, and Western culture often teaches us to chase as much of it as we can. People don’t realize that overindulgence actually dulls enjoyment. When you have too much of a good thing, it stops feeling good. Pleasure turns into boredom, then rejection, and eventually even disgust.

It’s the same with the guy who gets a job at a pizza place and eats so much pizza that he can’t stand it anymore—or someone who binges on chocolate until it makes them sick. The same pattern can happen in marriage too.

Ironically, it's the endless pursuit of pleasure promoted by modern culture that ends up destroying true enjoyment and joy in life.

"Rabbi Meir (Baal Hanes) said: Why does the Torah command seven days of impurity for a menstruant? Because a man might become too accustomed to her. The Torah insists on seven days of separation so that she remains beloved to him as when she first entered the chuppah" (Talmud Bavli, Niddah 31b).

Couples who correctly observe family purity laws during forbidden times elevate and strengthen their emotional bonds, rising to spiritual heights. They demonstrate to eachother that their connection is not only a physical one.

These couples don't endure monotonous, dull marriages, or reach a point of intolerance. Instead, they relive the initial excitement each month anew. They do not need to look outside to escape the routine like those who unfortunately destroy their homes and lead lives full of pain and tears. By following the Creator's instructions, they extract maximum enjoyment and benefit in this world, along with their reserved reward in the World to Come (summary of Rabbi Zamir Cohen's book "Keys to Life" p. 196 and "The Complete Guide to a Happy Marriage" chapter "Breaking Routine").

Next time: More reasons for the low divorce rate.