The Recipe for a Healthy and Lasting Relationship

Every area of life requires at least some skill in managing relationships, because life, at its core, is about human connection. Social interactions and communication are simply a part of life.

Individuals who have been burned by difficult relationships—whether with parents, bosses, or partners—know just how important relationship skills really are.

A healthy, lasting relationship starts with knowing yourself. The way you experience and relate to yourself shapes how you'll experience and relate to others.

For a strong, stable relationship, you need two key elements: partnership and collaboration.

Most relationships begin with partnership—a shared goal or something outside of us that we’re both drawn to. That shared purpose brings us together.

Consider two business partners starting a company. Their common goal—launching the business—is what drives the partnership, and they cooperate to make it happen.

But partnership alone isn’t enough to make a relationship last. That shared external goal (like the business) may change or fade over time. And when it does, if there’s nothing deeper holding the relationship together.

This is the reason that collaboration is so important. Collaboration is the quality of how people share, connect, and support each other. It can be deep and meaningful, or surface-level and functional. But the depth of this connection is what determines whether the partnership will actually last.

Strong, long-term relationships begin from a shared goal (partnership), but evolve into something deeper through collaboration—genuine connection, openness, and support. Partnership brings people together, but collaboration is what keeps them together.

Before entering any relationship—whether business, friendship, or romantic—it’s important to recognize that both elements are necessary. If you want to know how likely a relationship is to survive long-term, notice how close, open, and collaborative the connection really is.

If a relationship is based only on shared goals (such as raising kids, money, or projects), and not on real emotional connection, it may not last. Once the shared goal fades or is no longer possible, the relationship may fall apart.

This is especially true in a marriage. If a couple’s connection is only about shared responsibilities—such as parenting, finances, or the house—without real closeness and communication, over time they may start to feel distant. And eventually, if there’s no longer a common focus, they may go their separate ways.

Relationships often start with shared goals, but they’ll only survive and thrive if they grow into something deeper.

Feel free to share (pun intended).

Inbal Elhayani, M.A, is a certified therapist in NLP, mindfulness, and guided imagery.