Rewire Your Mind: Practical Tools to Shift from Negative to Positive Thinking

If we pay close attention, we’ll notice that people with negative thought patterns often use extreme expressions such as: “There’s no chance,” “Never,” “Impossible,” and so on. For example, they might say to themselves: “There’s no way I’ll ever lose weight- I failed again and ate cake!” or “No one in this house ever thinks about me!” or “People never change at an older age!”

Language carries deep meaning and significantly affects how we think- far beyond the verbal expression itself. When a person uses absolute, all-or-nothing language that leaves no room for nuance, they are influenced by the certainty those words project, and their brain begins to adopt the belief that change is impossible.

If we want to uproot negative thinking and adopt a more positive outlook, we must first change our language- both in the way we speak to others and to ourselves. We should avoid extreme expressions and instead use more balanced, realistic phrases that accurately reflect the situation. For example: “I ate cake, which means I didn’t stick to my diet today,” or “It’s harder to change at an older age.”

This measured language prevents us from falling into sweeping, negative thought patterns and opens the door to a mindset that recognizes the potential for change in almost any situation. If I didn’t follow my diet today, I can still get back on track tomorrow. If change is difficult at an older age, it doesn't mean that it's mpossible.

The more moderate and realistic our language is, the easier it becomes to embrace a positive mindset that leads to growth and better results. If instead of telling ourselves we “failed,” we say we “need to improve”; if instead of talking about being “hurt,” we refer to an “unpleasant experience”; if instead of feeling disappointed, we remember that “everything happens for a reason”, we’ll develop a healthier, more productive way of thinking that empowers us to deal with challenges and move forward.

Negative thinking often reduces our perception of reality to black-and-white terms. For example, someone might say, “I’ve failed as a parent!” after one rough moment with a child. But if that person steps back and takes a broader view- asking themselves, “Have I really failed completely?”- they will usually realize that their extreme assessment doesn’t match the fuller picture.

Someone with negative thinking might also say, “If I haven’t succeeded until now, I never will.” But a person with a more positive mindset would reject that logic. They’d recognize that past setbacks don’t guarantee future failure. They’d ask: What tools have I not tried yet? What might help me move forward now?

How do we take the first step toward developing positive thinking? One simple daily exercise is at the end of each day, to reflect on three extreme thoughts that crossed your mind during the day. Challenge them, soften their edges and look at them objectively. Is the assumption really true? Does the outcome we fear must happen?

Gradually, as we train ourselves to see reality through a lens of hope and possibility, we’ll begin to find a way out of difficult situations.

Another essential factor in maintaining a positive mindset is being in a supportive, encouraging environment. When someone is surrounded by criticism, dismissal, or disrespect, it becomes very difficult to reshape their thinking. But a person who is regularly affirmed, trusted, and encouraged by others, will more naturally develop a positive outlook, because that’s what they absorb from their surroundings.

The overall worldview of those around us influences us too, not only in how they treat us, but how they perceive life itself. Being surrounded by negativity, cynicism, and doubt will weigh down even a strong mind. Being around optimism and encouragement however is contagious too, and can dramatically shift how we see ourselves and the world.

Let’s explore this with a simple example: imagine someone lying in bed late at night, alone in the dark. Everyone in the house is asleep. Now, they intentionally try to scare themselves by imagining that they hear footsteps and see a shadowy figure near the bedroom door. They reach for the phone to call the police, trying not to be noticed. Although they know this scenario is just imagined, their body reacts as if it’s real: faster heartbeat, increased blood pressure, sweating.

This is because our thoughts have power, to the extent that they can affect us physically, even when we know they’re not real. When we are trapped in a problem and constantly thinking about it, we can’t view it clearly or find a solution. The worry becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, making the fear feel real even if the outcome hasn’t occurred.

To break this cycle, we must try to imagine ourselves on the other side of the problem. Picture the issue already resolved, the pressure lifted. Not because we’re ignoring reality, but because we’re consciously choosing to visualize hope, so that we can shift our emotional state and regain our strength to find real solutions.

Even imagining a better outcome- while still being aware of the current reality- can uplift our mindset and help us regain control.

When people approach me for counseling while they’re deep in crisis, I often guide them through a visualization: imagine yourself six months from now, looking back on this problem- how would you reflect on it then? What advice would you give someone else in your situation?

From that vantage point, they can often think more clearly and find a way forward, no longer emotionally consumed by the problem itself.

This principle is supported by an idea from Rabbi Yitzchak Meir Alter, the Chidushei HaRim. In the Torah, the passage about the “Sotah” (a woman suspected of infidelity) comes before the passage about the Nazirite (someone who takes a vow of spiritual elevation), leading the Sages to say: if you witness moral corruption, you should distance yourself from potential temptation by becoming a Nazirite.

But in the Mishnah, the order is reversed: the Nazirite comes before the Sotah. Why? The Chidushei HaRim explains that during the destruction of the Temple, Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi understood that we can't always wait to fix our flaws before doing good. Sometimes, the only path forward is to start doing good first, and let it push the negativity out of our lives.

The same is true here. Ideally, we’d remove all our negative thinking first. But in practice, sometimes the best approach is to fill ourselves with positive thoughts, and in doing so, we’ll naturally reduce the grip of the negative ones.

Even if you can’t eliminate every dark thought, start feeding your mind with light. Focus on the good, on hope and on progress.

From there, the change begins.