Hashem Loves You No Matter What

There are tough moments in life. For everyone. The challenge may in finances, relationships, raising children, or even a chronic health issue. Life's challenges come and go, sometimes shaking us to the core.

What does a person do when they hit a rough patch? They try everything—ask for advice, give charity, do acts of kindness, and of course, they pray. Even someone who isn’t religious might cry out from the depths of their heart, hoping everything will work out.

But even as they pray, there’s that nagging thought that won’t go away: “Is God even listening to me?”

And it’s not because they’re so humble, but because of the heavy “baggage” of past mistakes they’re dragging around- the invisible backpack full of guilt. They are standing before God asking for something important. Who am I to ask? With everything I’ve done? What right do I have?

Let’s take a step back and look at the bigger picture. If you think about your relationship with your parents growing up, it might help understand this dynamic a bit better.

We’re here in this world for a reason—for a purpose that only we can fulfill. We came knowing there would be struggles. We weren’t born angels -G-d knew we'd stumble- that’s part of the journey.

Sometimes the hardships we face are actually there to wake us up, to help us grow, to push us to fix what needs repair so that we can have a better life—not as punishment, but as an opportunity.

When life gets hard, it’s actually a time of deep connection—a moment when the heart is wide open, and the heavens are listening. But then comes that voice in our head, saying, “I’m not worthy.” “I’ve messed up too much.” “God’s probably not even looking my way.” “I need to get myself together before I can pray properly.”

People begin running around—trying this advice, that rabbi, those “spiritual tricks”—anything but standing face to face with the raw truth: asking G-d directly for help.

Why is that? Because it’s hard. It's humbling. It’s awkward to stand in front of your Father, asking for something so big when just yesterday you messed up—maybe really badly.

That’s where the problem begins.

Without even realizing it, we treat our relationship with G-d like the one we had with our parents. Even if we had warm, loving, supportive parents, most of us learned—subtly—that love had conditions. One wrong move, one disappointed look, and that full, unconditional love felt a little less secure.

Of course, our parents meant well—they were trying to raise us right. But our inner child internalized this: to be loved, I need to be “good.” To ask for something, I must “deserve” it.

Now, as adults, we bring that same mindset into our relationship with G-d. We think, “I’m being punished.” “G-d’ is disappointed in me.” “He won’t help me unless I clean up my act.”

But that’s not how it works.

G-d is good—truly good in a way we can’t even wrap our minds around. He’s not waiting for you to be perfect. He’s not holding a checklist over your head.

You are worthy. You can pray. You should ask. Right now. As you are. Even with all your flaws, your mistakes, and your regrets.

Of course we’re supposed to grow, change and become better versions of ourselves. That work is important. But don’t let your imperfections stop you from connecting with the One who loves you most.

His love is not earned. It’s not conditional. It’s not like anything you’ve ever experienced. Whether you’re religious or not—Chassidic, Sephardic, Ashkenazi, traditional, secular, whoever you are—He is your Father. He believes in you. With all His heart.

He believes in your strength. Your ability to change, to grow, to become more of who you’re meant to be. Even when you don’t believe in yourself—He does.

That belief? That love? It’s waiting for you. Always. No matter what. With open arms and a listening ear. All you need to do is ask.

And if you’re wondering what this has to do with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)? Everything.

CBT helps us challenge those deep, limiting beliefs—such as “G-d only loves me when I’m perfect” or “My prayers only count if I’m totally righteous.” You can toss those thoughts in the trash. Replace them with a healthier, truer perspective:

“I am loved. I am wanted. Always.”

Say it again and again, until it sinks in. Until your heart starts to believe it. Until it fills you with strength and peace.

Because here’s the truth:
You can ask. Anytime. Anywhere.
Because His love for you will never, ever go away.

Can you feel that? That little flutter in your heart? That’s the beginning of faith.

Chani Ernrikeh is a psychotherapist specializing in CBT.