From Indecision to Clarity: How to Make Difficult Choices Without Getting Stuck

As explained in a previous article, the difference between the chronic hesitator and their counterpart who makes daily decisions, isn’t about the difficulty in deciding, but in the ability and willingness to overcome that difficulty and choose anyway.

Another point deserves attention. King Solomon, the wisest of men, writes in Proverbs (11:14): “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety.” In other words, there's value in surrounding oneself with many advisors, as each can offer a different angle and broaden one’s understanding of a dilemma.

This is only effective when the various advisors help paint a clearer picture and guide the person toward a decision. Often, however, too many opinions create an overwhelming mix of conflicting perspectives, which adds confusion. Instead of providing clarity, an overload of advice can paralyze a person, making it impossible to reach a well-considered decision. The mental burden becomes too much to process all at once.

What can you do when faced with a complex decision that involves many factors and viewpoints?

The recommended strategy is to focus on one factor at a time, making a clear decision about that aspect before moving on to the next.

Consider a person deliberating about purchasing a car. He isn’t sure he needs one, isn’t certain he can afford the purchase and upkeep, and worries that others will constantly ask to borrow it- and that he won’t be able to say no.

If he tries to consider all these concerns at once, he’ll quickly become overwhelmed. Instead, he should isolate each element and make a focused, thoughtful decision about it.

The first question should be: Do I actually need a car? If the answer is no, the rest of the discussion is irrelevant. If the answer is yes, then a partial decision has already been made: he needs a car.

The next question becomes: Can I afford the expenses of owning one? Here he needs to review his budget, income, potential for increasing earnings, or the feasibility of taking out a loan and repaying it responsibly.

Once that piece is clarified, he moves to the final question: Should I avoid the purchase solely due to potential social pressure or boundary issues? That, too, must be evaluated on its own.

Only after reaching conclusions on these points should he consider the details, such as which car to buy, the color and features, etc.

In reality, many people try to juggle all parts of a decision at once, and it becomes nearly impossible. When everything is mixed together, the decision seems harder than it really is. The mental overload leads to a conclusion that the decision is “too difficult”- when in fact it’s simply too entangled.

There’s also an important bonus to this method: once a person makes even a single decision, he can channel his energy into solving challenges related to it. For instance, if he’s decided that he does need a car, he can now focus his efforts on figuring out how to finance it. But if even that first question is still unanswered, he won’t have the clarity to move forward on anything.

Before making a decision, everything can feel daunting and uncertain. But once a decision is made, the clarity and direction it provides often bring a renewed sense of energy and focus. Fears that once loomed large tend to shrink in the face of real progress.

Delegating the Decision

Sometimes, a person may choose to hand over the final decision to someone else- such as consulting a rabbi or mentor and following their advice. This doesn’t make them indecisive, but is a valid, deliberate choice. They have decided to trust someone wiser, and this in itself is an empowered decision that can bring clarity and action.

Ultimately, what matters is not who makes the decision, but whether a decision is made at all. Indecision is the true block to growth and progress.

Perhaps most importantly, a decision isn’t only about the moment it is made, but about what happens after- how consistently you act on it and how it shapes your path moving forward.

Choice is not only about choosing, but about the commitment to keep walking the chosen path.