Faith, Struggle, and Inner Growth: the Power of Acceptance in Jewish and Psychological Thought

Parshat Miketz, which is always read during the holiday of Hanukkah, has many parallels to the Book of Esther, which is read on Purim. As will be detailed below, there are striking similarities between Joseph and Esther, Joseph and Mordechai, and even between Esther and Jacob. These parallels highlight a shared theme found in both stories that resonates with the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): the balance between accepting reality and remaining committed to one’s values.

The Similarities Between Joseph and Mordechai

In Parshat Miketz, Joseph, much like Mordechai in the Book of Esther, offers life-saving advice to a king. Joseph interprets Pharaoh’s dream and advises him how to survive the upcoming famine. Mordechai informs King Achashverosh of the plot by Bigtan and Teresh and saves his life.

As a result, both are promoted to high office of second to the king, entrusted with the royal household and the entire kingdom. Both receive the king’s ring, are dressed in royal garments, ride in the king’s chariot, and are proclaimed before all, as seen clearly in the verses.

Parshat Miketz (Genesis 41): “‘You shall be over my house, and by your word shall all my people be sustained…I have set you over all the land of Egypt.’ And Pharaoh removed his ring from his hand and placed it on Joseph’s hand; he clothed him in fine linen garments and put a gold chain around his neck. He had him ride in the second royal chariot, and they called before him, ‘Avrech!’ And he placed him over all the land of Egypt.”

Book of Esther: “Haman took the garments and the horse, clothed Mordechai, and led him through the city square, proclaiming before him, ‘This is what is done for the man whom the king desires to honor’ (Esther 6:11). ‘The king removed his ring, which he had taken from Haman, and gave it to Mordechai; and Esther set Mordechai over Haman’s house’ (Esther 8:2). ‘Mordechai went out from before the king in royal garments…’ (Esther 8:15). ‘Mordechai the Jew was second to King Achashverosh" (Esther 10:3).

The Similarity Between Jacob and Esther

In Miketz, when Jacob realizes his sons cannot return to Egypt for food without bringing Binyamin, and that the famine leaves him no choice, he says: “And as for me, if I am bereaved, I am bereaved” (Genesis 43:14).

Similarly, when Queen Esther realizes she alone may be able to save her people from destruction and must risk her life by approaching the king, she says: “And if I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16).

What Do These Two Stories Share?

Both narratives begin with passive protagonists, but G-d guides events so that, through adversity, they arrive at the king’s palace. From within that hardship, Esther and Joseph are able to save their people from destruction and famine.

Joseph is thrown into a pit by his brothers, which begins his journey to Pharaoh’s palace. Esther is taken to the palace of Achashverosh. In both stories, the heroes accept their reality. They do not complain, but once they reach a point of no return- “if I am bereaved, I am bereaved” / “if I perish, I perish”- they take decisive action.

Esther, loyal to her values and people, goes to the king to plead for their lives. Joseph acts to save Egypt and later his own family. In the same way, the Maccabees fought for their Jewish identity on Hanukkah.

In every one of these stories, the heroes live out the exact principles of ACT- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

ACT focuses on cultivating psychological flexibility to help individuals move toward meaningful goals, anchored in personal values. It offers a range of therapeutic techniques to deal with pain, intense emotions, and disturbing thoughts.

Acceptance means allowing yourself to feel your emotions, recognizing how they affect your behavior, and embracing the present moment without judgment or self-criticism.
Commitment means remaining loyal to your values, even in the face of distress.

There is a natural tendency to avoid distressing experiences, but avoidance often prevents us from living fully. Avoidance shrinks our daily functioning. To stop avoiding, we must accept difficult experiences- not to agree with them or become victims, but to acknowledge unpleasant emotions, thoughts, and bodily sensations in a way that brings peace of mind.

Rigidity vs. Psychological Flexibility

Negative experiences, events, thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations such as anger, pain, disappointment, or failure, often lead to suffering. Our instinct to avoid these creates rigid and ineffective patterns, known in ACT as psychological rigidity.

A key ACT technique is psychological flexibility, which involves staying present with nonjudgmental awareness and responding in alignment with one’s values. True change comes from accepting reality while staying committed to what matters most.

Joseph and Esther as ACT Role Models

Joseph and Esther each accepted the reality imposed upon them- life in Pharaoh’s and Achashverosh’s palaces, but they remained committed to their deepest values. Their actions ultimately brought salvation not only to their own people but to the entire world (in Joseph's case, he saved nations from famine).

May we, too, grow and thrive through our own challenges and come to understand and accept that this is the reality right now- without complaint. May we examine how we can act in a way that reflects our values and, in doing so, bring light and blessing to the world.