The Elephant's Story: Why Am I Not Moving Forward in Life?

“I was widowed at a young age,” the woman on the other end of the line told me after introducing herself. “I had dreams of advancing professionally in my field, and maybe even studying something new. But all those plans came to a halt when my husband was in a car accident he never recovered from. Naturally, after his passing, I couldn’t even begin to think about work or personal growth.

“But more than 20 years have passed since then. I could’ve learned everything I once planned to. I could’ve worked, grown, built a new family, remarried, and provided more support for my children, who grew up without a father for so many years.

“In reality, I did none of that. I stayed ‘stuck’ in the exact place I was when my husband died.”

“And why is that?” I gently asked her.

“The truth is, all this time, whenever I thought of trying again, of making a change, one memory would rise to the surface. About two weeks before my husband’s accident, we had a fight. And in the heat of the argument, he said to me, ‘What do you even know? You have big dreams, but there’s no way you’ll ever make a single one of them come true.’

“He apologized afterward and said he didn’t really mean it. But I was left wounded. Every time I considered doing something, his voice echoed in my mind: You won’t make it happen. And now, looking back, he was right.”

That story hit me hard. Not only because of the pain in it, but because it’s far from rare. Our counseling and guidance department at Hidabroot receives countless calls from people of all ages who carry emotional baggage- frustration, resentment, grief, and sadness stemming from moments of ridicule, hurt, or unresolved insult.

To many of these callers, I tell the story of the elephant.

A young boy came to the circus with his father and was thrilled by the animals performing tricks on stage. He was especially excited by the elephant doing impressive feats. Backstage, he noticed the massive, strong elephant tied with a not-so-thick rope to a small, simple peg.

“Dad,” he asked, “why doesn’t the elephant run away? He could easily pull that rope, uproot the stake, and escape!”

“He’s trained,” the father replied. “That’s why he doesn’t run.”

But the child pressed further: “Then why tie him at all? What’s the point of that little peg?”

The father didn’t know, so he asked the circus manager.

“The answer is simple,” the manager said. “This elephant has been with the circus since he was a baby. Back then, the rope and peg were enough to keep him from escaping. In the beginning, he tried to resist and break free, but it didn’t work. After a few days, he gave up. Ever since, he truly believes that small peg is stronger than him. So he never even tries.”

Any reasonable person understands that if the elephant tried even once today, he’d succeed in breaking free immediately. But regarding our own emotional scars and baggage, it’s much more difficult to apply this logic in our lives.

In such situations, it’s a good idea to seek support or therapy to help release these inner weights and work toward healing and empowerment. We must not let old, toxic energies seep into our present and stir up fears about the future. Instead, we must learn to let them go and build a better present rooted in faith in the Creator, who was, is, and always will be guiding us on a path tailor-made for our ultimate good.