How to Learn to Pay Attention to Opportunities

Once upon a time, there was a fisherman- let's call him Hezi.
Hezi was in the habit of going out early every morning to fish. At the end of the day, he would gather his net, and sell his catch at the market.

One morning, he woke up much earlier than usual, while it was still completely dark outside. After some hesitation, he decided to go to the lake anyway and wait there for the sun to rise. He settled in a spot where he didn't usually fish, but which was slightly lit, and planned to wait there until dawn.

As he sat down, he noticed a sack next to him. Because of the darkness, he couldn’t see exactly what was inside, but he understood that it was full of stones. Out of boredom, he began throwing the stones into the lake, one by one, challenging himself to throw each one farther than the last. When the sun finally rose, he was left with just one stone in his hand. Before throwing it, he looked at it- and to his amazement, he noticed that it was shiny and sparkling. He brought it closer to his eyes and saw that it was a raw diamond. Most likely, all the others he had just thrown were the same.

What is the moral of the story?

Life presents us with opportunities that could change our lives for the better, but we discard them, for various reasons, some knowingly, some unknowingly. Opportunities often require change, but we are afraid of change. We might want it, but not know how to achieve it. We might want it, but fear we’ll fail. Or we may not want it, although we know we need it.

After years of studying people undergoing change (such as smokers in the process of quitting), two psychologists, James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, developed a model to help people make changes, and how to stick to them. In the case of smoking, for example, their method was found so effective that the U.S. Health Association declared it to be twice as effective as other methods, even among long-time smokers of 25 years or more.

According to their model, change is not a linear process, but cyclical, made up of six stages that repeat themselves, each of which requires different tools.

Over the coming weeks, we will learn these stages of change, try to identify which stage we ourselves are in with regard to a specific change in our lives, and see how we can move forward to the next stage.

Our starting point is the biblical idea: "Man is born to toil" (Job 5:7). The human being is referred to as a "one who walks", meaning he is always in a state of becoming and evolving. Some changes we actively choose and strive for, such as for spiritual growth, physical improvement, career development, relationships, and so on. Others are “forced” upon us from above. When we understand that these are divine messages and not random events- such as losing a job or facing health challenges- they can become a call to action.

In the upcoming weeks, we will begin listing and exploring the six stages of change and learn how to move from one stage to the next, until we reach the change we desire.

From Rabbi Yitzhak Fanger’s new book ‘It’s Possible’. To purchase, visit Hidabroot Shops or call: 073-222-1250