Do I Have Too Much Self-Confidence?

There are people who never seem to be wrong. They assume that they know everything, and you can't tell them anything new. In their eyes, they are perfect.

Is this self-confidence? Is it perhaps overconfidence?

People who “never make mistakes” are often people who simply can't admit their mistakes- which means that they struggle to take responsibility for their actions. They deny their faults, blame others, and maintain a false sense of perfection. Their sense of being "flawless" doesn't come from genuine confidence but rather from a lack of confidence. For these individuals, admitting a mistake would feel like their entire sense of stability and self-worth is collapsing.

A person with true self confidence has no problem admitting they were wrong. They can confidently say, “I made a mistake,” and correct it if needed. They’re not afraid to acknowledge failure, because they have a healthy self-image and trust in their own abilities. Even if they fall short, they know they can recover, fix the mistake, and move on, without it threatening their identity or self-worth.

Not only that, but someone who lacks self-confidence is often afraid of change, because change means stepping out of their comfort zone which feels very scary. They avoid shifting their behavior or mindset, fearing it will shake the stability they rely on.

For this reason, such a person may resist learning from others. Learning new things could mean needing to change — and change feels threatening. Instead, they hide inside a bubble of illusion, pretending that they know everything and there’s nothing new to learn. Even if they come across helpful or valuable insights, they’ll ignore them just to avoid the discomfort of growth. They’d rather give up golden opportunities for improvement than risk destabilizing their fragile sense of self.

Who is truly wise?

When a person is open to learning, listening, and accepting that they’re not perfect, they demonstrate that they have room to grow and this indicates the strength of their confidence. Genuine confidence allows a person to acknowledge their limitations, weaknesses, and flaws, while still believing they can change, improve, and become their best self.

When our Sages said, “Who is wise? One who learns from everyone,” they weren’t simply teaching us a lesson in humility, but were telling us that being open to learn from others is a sign of emotional health, of true self-confidence, and of a mind that’s ready to leave its comfort zone and grow.