Why Is It So Hard to Change Our Habits?

By nature, people don't like to change. Any kind of change—whether for better or worse—shakes up our sense of stability and security. Predictability in our lives provides us with a sense of control and safety.

This need for stability—and the fear of losing it—often leads people to retreat into what's referred to as their “comfort zone.”

The comfort zone is the familiar zone, with all its strengths and weaknesses. Even if it’s not ideal, even if it’s not good or desirable—it’s predictable. And that predictability makes it feel comfortable.

A person who wakes up late every morning and says that they want to start getting up earlier. And yet, day after day, they continue to wake up late.

This is because their current wake-up time is familiar. They know how their body feels at that time, what to afterward, when and where they pray, how their routine flows from that moment on. That whole sequence is predictable and part of their comfort zone.

They may not even enjoy waking up late, and would probably enjoy their day if they got up earlier, but they prefer the security of routine over the potential benefits of change. People naturally lean toward security and stability more than they do toward pleasure or enjoyment.

The same principle applies to how we view ourselves.

Someone may think of themselves as incapable, or as a failure. It’s not that they enjoy thinking that way—but those thoughts have become familiar. They know what’s expected of them as someone who “isn’t good enough.” There’s security in that identity, even if it’s a painful one.

To start seeing themselves as capable and successful would be a major mental shift—and that would throw off their emotional balance. It would push them out of their comfort zone and into unfamiliar territory where new expectations and responsibilities exist.

Getting Comfortable with Change

How do we push beyond the limits of our comfort zone and overcome the fear of instability? The answer is surprisingly simple:
Start with tiny changes- even meaningless ones.

For example, if you usually walk straight to the kitchen when you get home—go to the living room instead. If you always sit in the armchair—sit on the couch. If you take the same route to work every day—try switching it up a bit (as long as it doesn’t add stress).

These small acts help us get used to making conscious choices, instead of running on autopilot powered by habit. Once you’ve trained yourself to be okay with little shifts, you’ll be ready to take on bigger ones such as changing parts of your behavior.

If you generally respond passively or with disinterest when your children tell you stories, try listening with attention and interest as a way of training yourself to change behavior and step out of your comfort zone.

Step by step, you’ll loosen the grip of the illusion that comfort equals safety. You’ll start replacing old habits with actions that reflect your real potential, not solely based on the limitations of what feels comfortable.

In fact, you could say that feeling too comfortable should raise a red flag. If everything is easy and you’re not being challenged—that could mean that you’re not stretching yourself enough and not tapping into your abilities.

When you start feeling completely comfortable, it’s probably time to push forward, break through, and challenge yourself until you feel some resistance that demands effort.

The more self-confidence a person has, the more ready they are to welcome change and they don’t need to cling to the artificial stability that habit provides. When a person depends heavily on habit and avoids stepping out of their comfort zone, it generally reflects a lack of self-confidence, which can hold them back from growth and success.