Let It Go: Your Past Mistakes Aren’t the Whole Story

So often, the mistakes we make or the failures we experience feel significantly bigger than they actually are. In our minds, they become a huge, defining thing—something that seems irreversible and that we’ll never bounce back from.

When we take a step back and look at things with some time and perspective, we usually realize that those mistakes weren’t as severe as they first seemed. Sure, perhaps it was a real misstep—but in most cases, it wasn’t the type of mistake that needs to ruin your life. Chances are it didn’t change the overall course of your life in any meaningful way.

It’s very important to look at past mistakes from the perspective of the present. Daily life—routine, the “here and now”—is one of the best forms of healing. When we focus on the present, really live in it, we naturally start giving less emotional weight to the past. That’s when we can begin to see our past mistakes with more clarity, and believe in our ability not only to fix them, but to grow from them.

We certainly have the ability to shift our attention to the positive things happening right now, instead of wallowing in the negativity of what has already happened. But we must remember to utilize that ability. If we forget it, we fall back into our default mode—getting stuck in the past and the heavy emotions it brings.

If you find yourself spending days in a fog of guilt, negative thoughts, hopelessness, or frustration, it means you might not be fully tuned in to your power to focus on what’s good in your life right now.

The more we focus on what’s happening in the present—and fill our lives with meaningful, uplifting experiences—the less space we leave for those heavy, discouraging feelings. These are feelings that love to tell us stories that sound like “Your future has no hope because of your past.” It's simply not true.

Guilt has a way of dragging us into the past and convincing us that what’s done will define what happens next. We get caught up thinking about what went wrong, what it means, what the consequences might be…and all the while, the present is slipping through our fingers. We’re missing the good stuff—the beautiful moments of life that only happen in the now. Any thought or feeling that takes us out of the present—that pulls us away from the one moment we can truly live, isn't helping us- it's pulling us backward.

Children often don’t feel guilty the way adults do. We tend to assume that feeling guilt is a sign of maturity—proof that we’re being responsible- but the truth is in fact the opposite. Guilt doesn’t usually lead to action- it paralyzes us. Guilt can be a form of immaturity— we are avoiding responsibility rather than taking it.

The same is true for worry and pain which are born in the present. If we’re not attentive enough to the present moment, we may suddenly find ourselves overwhelmed by these difficult emotions once they've already grown- and then we’re left wondering: Where did this sadness come from? How did I get this anxious? Those feelings were building up all along, while we were distracted by everything other than the moment we’re living in.

Like a muscle, our ability to stay present takes practice. It doesn’t always come naturally, and it definitely takes effort. But it’s so worth it.

The more we train ourselves to live in the moment—to view both the past and the future through the lens of the now—the better we’ll handle life. We’ll make better decisions, feel more fulfilled, and even learn to repair or make peace with the mistakes we’ve made. The failures? They’re just part of the process. Every human being stumbles. When we give those moments their true weight—no more and no less—we can use them as fuel to keep growing.