Is it Possible to Eliminate Negativity from Our Lives?

1. Stop criticizing yourself and cultivate self-compassion.
How many times have we made a mistake and then beaten ourselves up over it? How often do we tell ourselves that we’re not spending enough time with our children, not progressing enough in our spiritual life, or not meeting the goals we set for ourselves?
How often have we stumbled into a transgression and brought ourselves down through internal rebuke?

Some of us have an internal mechanism that tells us that by “punishing” ourselves through self-criticism, we can silence our guilty conscience and prove to ourselves that we recognize the mistake and want to improve. However a mindset of self-criticism and blame is not the path to self-growth.

Can a student or a child thrive under constant criticism from teachers or parents? Of course not. This approach would lead to lowered self-esteem and emotional damage. The correct way to engage with a child is through emphasizing their strengths and demonstrating that we believe in them. The same applies to ourselves- we can acknowledge the mistake, feel a desire to grow and improve, and believe in the good and our ability to change.

2. Declutter your space and add color to your surroundings.
A cluttered space at home or work results in clutter in the mind as well. Discard items you no longer use, organize your space, and cultivate a pleasant atmosphere. Add color (yellow brings joy), and include items that make you happy, such as pictures, a cozy rug, decorative pillows, lamps, flowers, or plants. Make sure your space is clean, tidy, well-lit, and welcoming.

3. Develop resilience against negative comments, criticism, or hurtful words.
When someone speaks to us in a hurtful way, remember: “There are no bad people—only people who are hurting.” If someone acts harmfully, they are likely dealing with internal pain or frustration unrelated to us.

When a hurtful comment is made, try to see the pain behind it. Unkind comments are often an emotional release, and don’t reflect reality. Recognizing that the pain belongs to the other person can help us not take their words to heart. (If it’s someone close to you, find a calm moment to explore the pain they might be holding.)

When receiving criticism, it is a good idea to examine the comment rationally, take in what’s helpful, and separate it from emotions.

A person with healthy self-esteem is able to receive criticism without being destabilized. Because they know their value, they can consider feedback without defensiveness. An individual lacking in self-worth however, will be more sensitive to criticism because they are already internally critical. Any additional feedback is therefore overwhelming, and often leads to sadness or emotional outbursts.

4. Put on happy music and turn up the volume.
Uplifting music can instantly shift your energy. When you’re feeling down, take a positive action- even if it feels forced- and energize yourself with joyful tunes.

5. Give yourself credit.
Are you judgmental of yourself? Do you often blame and criticize yourself? Pay attention to your inner dialogue. If you had a coworker who constantly criticized you, you’d feel terrible. That critic is you, and you’re with yourself 24/7, which means that the impact is even more intense.

Identify the recurring thoughts you say to yourself and begin to replace them with compliments. Focus on your strengths, your achievements, and your successes.

Even when you make a mistake, encourage yourself just as you would a friend or your child. Your self-talk plays a critical role in your mood and energy levels.

6. Stop complaining and start giving thanks.
Even if it seems like complaining helps you release frustration, it in fact focuses your mind on what is lacking or negative. Complaining all day about the government or the long line at the clinic won’t recharge your energy. Instead, develop a mental habit of seeing the good around you and saying “thank you” for it. Gratitude attracts blessing (according to the Zohar) and uplifts your spirit. When you notice the good and focus on it, you'll feel better.

7. Stop ruminating on negative thoughts and start thinking positively.
Thoughts of anger or resentment such as “How dare she talk to me like that?” or “His rudeness drives me crazy!” deplete your energy and leave you emotionally exhausted. Other negative thoughts also harm your mood and well-being. When a negative thought shows up, interrupt it. Don’t allow yourself to spiral into emotional turmoil.
Fill your mind with positive and uplifting thoughts as much as possible.

8. Censor negativity.
Limit your exposure to sad news or melancholy songs. Avoid social interactions with overly pessimistic people such as those who dwell on suffering or diminish your spirit.

Whether you like it or not, the energy of your environment will affect you. Surround yourself with positive people who make you feel good. Choose to read uplifting stories of hope and miracles, and listen to happy, upbeat music.

9. Be kind to your loved ones
Pay attention to how you treat those in your household. Do you blame, criticize, grumble, and lecture? Or do you compliment, encourage, show gratitude, support, and empower?

The way you treat those closest to you directly impacts how they act toward you in return. Positive interactions also shape the atmosphere in your home and in your own soul.