The Narcissist and His Surroundings: Types of Narcissists, Second Article in the Series

In the previous article, we began to explore the types of people who exhibit narcissistic traits. At times, it can feel like we all have some of those tendencies, and in fact, there’s some truth to that. Psychology refers to this as “healthy narcissism”, which means that everyone has an inner place where they are an individual—unique and special, focused inward on the self. This isn’t to be confused with the animal soul or selfish instincts; rather, it's a vital part of the psyche that distinguishes us from others. You could say that it’s the space where personal divine guidance occurs—the space where our individual life mission and personal growth are centered.

When balanced—meaning it’s also connected to the divine soul, to others, and can give space to others without feeling superior or irrelevant—this is considered healthy narcissism, and it characterizes most of us to some degree.

It’s important to remember that these articles are for informational purposes only, not for making psychological diagnoses.

This information is meant to raise awareness—turn on red flags, encourage caution, and recommend consulting qualified professionals before taking any significant action.

The Noble Character

This type tends to focus on values and ideals as tools to gain attention and recognition—through acts of kindness, volunteering, or charitable projects. Such a person may do a lot of good for the community—but only until it comes to their close relationships.

They are deeply devoted to their projects, but this can be misleading. When you see someone who is dedicated and consistent, you might assume this reflects their overall personality. Unfortunately, if you get to know this person more closely, you may encounter emotional coldness, distance, and most notably—superficiality.

Emotional superficiality is a common trait of narcissistic personalities. However, the noble character can be deceptive, because values and ideals provide an illusion of depth. After talking or spending time with them, you might feel either small and diminished, or drained—even if you can’t quite put your finger on why. Something about the interaction won’t feel like it does with others.

They appear to be charitable—but it’s often about how it looks from the outside. Their family relationships are often neglected. They aren’t emotionally available for their close ones and may even exploit their family to serve their public image. For instance, they may use the image of a “perfect family” to boost their project, when in reality the relationships are shallow, dismissive, and sometimes even abusive.

In the workplace, too, interpersonal relationships are often strained. They avoid giving credit, steer conversations back to their own interests, and are prone to outbursts and condescension.

The Neglectful

This type is often overly focused—or even addicted—to work or a particular hobby, while ignoring people in their closest relationships. This is not just about being busy now and then, but a frequent and ongoing pattern of emotional unavailability. These individuals fail to show up when support is most needed.

This neglect appears in multiple areas of life—sometimes in shocking ways. “But she seems normal,” or “He’s such a nice guy…”—maybe he’s nice to the neighbors, but when it really matters, he’s nowhere to be found.

For example, a woman who needed help getting to chemotherapy appointments was told by her husband, “You’ll manage on your own, I’m busy.” Or a man recovering from extensive dental surgery hears from his wife, “Just rest a bit, stop being a baby.” They don’t even try to hide that the other person’s needs simply don’t matter to them. They have no moral conflict about it.

The gaslighting in these relationships can be so subtle and manipulative that the person on the receiving end may genuinely start to believe they’re being overly sensitive or needy—even after major surgery or illness.

Cultural Narcissism

This type is common among individuals who, due to the cultural norms they come from, don't realize that their behavior is narcissistic. They justify their demands or actions through their cultural values.

For example: “In our culture, the woman takes care of everything inside the home.” When asked what the man contributes, the answer might be “I provide the income—that’s enough.” This becomes a license to demean, belittle, or emotionally neglect the other person.

Even when it’s not about money, the justification often lies in values that have become external badges of status. “He’s considered a prodigy, so I carry the burden for him”—without realizing that her “prodigy” can hardly live up to any of the values he’s studying all day. He’s addicted to the label of being a scholar and will do anything to maintain that image. Anything that might threaten that label is swiftly and aggressively dismissed—with the excuse that “this is just how it works in our community.”

The danger is that victims in these situations are so gaslit that they actually buy into the excuse—even though deep inside, there’s a quiet inner voice telling them that something isn’t right.

In these cases, culture and community values are used like chess pieces to hide the pathological behavior underneath. They mask the cold, self-serving, and shallow motivations behind them.

Dr. Ada Michal Weinstein is a certified psychodrama therapist specializing in narcissism, and works, among others, with victims of narcissists.