From Persecution to Empowerment: Rewriting the Inner Map

The way we approach reality, experience it, or deal with it depends largely- perhaps even entirely- on how we choose to perceive it.

In therapeutic language, we distinguish between the “terrain”- the objective reality, and the “map”- my subjective reality, from which I operate outwardly. 

The map refers to the mental framework composed of a collection of personal memories and experiences, often rooted in past events. Within this map, we can identify our beliefs about ourselves and our interpretations of external reality. Sometimes, the map from which we operate and experience life causes us negative emotions and creates a communication barrier that threatens our inner peace.

It is therefore important that our map contains positive content about ourselves, because it forms the starting point from which we act. When I have a negative self-image and can’t accept my own weaknesses, any criticism from others is likely to evoke feelings of guilt, judgment, and deep shame.

If I’ve filled my mental map with thoughts like “I’m worthless” or “I’m not good enough,” these beliefs will quickly affect how I perceive myself. I’ll begin to feel weak, powerless, and incapable, while viewing others as strong, capable, and successful. A separation begins to form between myself and others.

A thought pattern starts to build that paints me as the weak one and others as strong. Every critical comment or lack of approval from those I’ve placed opposite me only reinforces my weak self-image and strengthens their image as powerful. If I don’t receive validation for my opinions or actions, I’ll interpret it as: “I’m not good enough.” They are against me; I’m on one side, and they are on the other.

Fear arises and creates paralyzing anxiety in the face of the “strong” people who intimidate me. Instead of acting, I freeze. This is the body’s defense mechanism against perceived threat. Others escape mentally: they disengage, react aggressively, speak harshly, or try to physically avoid those people.

What’s Really Behind These Feelings?

These feelings often arise from not accepting our own weaknesses and the sense that someone else has spotted them. When someone behaves negatively toward me, it triggers the parts of me that I don’t accept and an emotional storm rises within me.

I perceive these feelings as a threat and want to run from them, but because I’m not aware of this subconscious process, I mistakenly believe that the correct move is to run away from the person I think is threatening me. In reaity, I’m running from my own weaknesses.

On the surface it will appear as if I’m distancing myself from another person, but essentially I am avoiding parts of myself.

As long as I view my weaknesses as negative, I will keep attracting hurt from my environment and continue to perceive others as stronger, which will fuel my sense of persecution. I’ll spend my life feeling hunted and threatened- trying to escape something that either doesn’t exist or doesn’t exist in the place I think it does.

When I disconnect from myself, trying to shed my weaknesses and reject my unwanted parts, I end up feeling persecuted. Every comment from others is interpreted through a negative lens, activating the internal weak spots that I’m constantly and unconsciously trying to escape from.

This shallow understanding of reality causes me to see whoever triggers these feelings as stronger than me. I’m afraid of them and interpret every action of theirs as proof that I am worthless. The more I try to escape, the more it feels as if they are chasing me.

A person who denies their own weakness and resists accepting it will constantly feel persecuted by others who unknowingly trigger those vulnerable places. In this sense, the environment acts as a messenger, urging us to accept those parts of ourselves so we can begin to heal. Ironically, the very desire to ignore our weaknesses is a form of attention in itself- if I choose to ignore something, it means that I acknowledge its existence.

What’s the Solution?

When we separate from ourselves, we feel persecuted. We must therefore begin by identifying our weaknesses, and accepting them. Working with the weaker parts of ourselves must come about through compassion and acceptance, not resistance or escape.

We must understand that our weaknesses are part of our personality structure- we all have strong and weak sides. The environment only helps bring our awareness to them; it didn’t create these feelings in the first place.

Once I accept them, I can begin to transform them, by using my strengths appropriately. This allows me to become resilient to criticism or disapproval, enabling healthy communication with others and helping me feel strong within relationships.

The dynamic will then shift from one of persecutor and persecuted, or strong versus weak, to one of equals among equals.

​Inbal Elhayani, M.A., is a certified NLP practitioner, a guided imagery therapist, writer, and lecturer.