The Illusion of Self-Reliance: Where True Confidence Begins

Where is true self-confidence born?

Some convince themselves that the more they strengthen themselves on their own and accumulate personal achievements, the more confident they’ll feel.

But if I take full credit for my successes, I must also accept full responsibility for my failures- and that can break my spirit.

Not only that, but when I rely solely on myself- on my cognitive and physical abilities- I am plagued by anxiety. I fear what lies ahead and constantly question whether I will be able to handle the next challenge. I create endless future scenarios and live in a state of constant control. But I know that there will be situations I can’t anticipate and events for which I won’t have solutions- some of which I already carry with me.

This version of self-confidence is a painful illusion.

One who relies only on themselves saws off the very branch they sit on. Deep in their consciousness, they know that their strength is limited. In the face of failure, their sense of inadequacy awakens once again and reinforces the feelings of failure.

Only a person who realizes that even their strengths are not truly theirs- but a gift from the Creator- can live with genuine confidence.

Only he who understands that the egocentric “I” must give way to the humble “Here I am”- a surrender to Divine will- can embrace themselves even when things don’t go as planned.

True self-confidence allows me to be secure in who I am, because I live in alignment with the One who spoke the world into being.

​Inbal Elhayani, M.A., is a certified NLP practitioner, a guided imagery therapist, writer, and lecturer.