Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs: A Path to Emotional Clarity and Empowerment

Many of us hold limiting beliefs that hinder us in our daily lives. I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not beautiful enough, Who would want me?, If I haven’t gotten married by now, I never will, If I haven’t gotten pregnant yet, it’ll never happen. And the list goes on.

It’s important to remember that these are negative thoughts, and you can challenge them.

Byron Katie, a speaker and author who found success in real estate, fell into a deep depression. During that period, although she was still closing deals by phone, she didn’t leave her home. She decided to face her depression, and out of this, she developed a powerful method called The Work of Byron Katie.

At the heart of her method are four key questions you can ask yourself. A good friend or partner can help you walk through the process which may help you see new perspectives you hadn’t considered.

How to Begin: Write down a simple statement that reflects what you’re struggling with. For example, “He wants to hurt me.” “He did it on purpose to make me angry.” “G-d doesn’t love me.” “I’ll never get pregnant.”

Then ask yourself the following four questions:

1. Is it true?

Pause and think, either alone or with the person supporting you:
Did he really mean to hurt you, or was it a mistake? Does G-d truly not love you? Has He really forgotten about you? Is it absolutely impossible to conceive? If your answer is “yes,” move to question 2. If it’s “no,” go to question 3.

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

Are you 100% certain He meant to hurt you, intentionally and maliciously? Has G-d really never given you any blessings or good in your life? Have you genuinely done everything possible to get pregnant? Are you sure?

3. What happens when you believe that thought?

What does your body feel when you believe this thought? Does your heart race from anger? Do you cry from sadness? Do you feel weak or confident? Energized or exhausted? Begin to notice how your thoughts impact your physical and emotional wellbeing. Once you’re aware of how these thoughts affect your entire body, you can pause, reflect, and begin to think and act differently.

4. Who would you be without that thought?

Without that thought, would you feel more joyful, calm, relaxed, and secure? Would you have fewer disturbing thoughts, less sadness, and less self-blame? Tune into your body now: does it feel more peaceful, open, and ready to receive?

Now, turn the thought around- for example: “He didn’t actually mean to hurt me.” “He didn’t intend to anger me.” “G-d loves me. He’s watching over me.”

Look for concrete examples that prove the opposite is true, such as times when you thought someone hurt you on purpose but later realized it was unintentional. Write down examples that show G-d does love and care for you. List the good that already exists in your life, such as your health, your intelligence, and your strengths. Hang this list somewhere visible- on your fridge or next to your computer.
Whenever negativity arises, read the list out loud.

The goal of this process is to examine limiting and negative thoughts and beliefs.

• Are they truly, objectively real?

• Are they grounded in fact?

• Could it be you misinterpreted the situation?

• Are you missing part of the picture?

Maybe it’s time to have a calm, honest conversation with the person involved- not from anger- but from a genuine desire to understand.
Ask yourself, have you really tried everything to get pregnant? Or are there still options such as herbal remedies, dietary changes, new relaxation techniques, or professional help that you haven’t yet explored?

The goal is to stop the spiral of negative thoughts. If you can go through this process on your own, that’s wonderful. If not, turn to a friend, partner, or someone close to you for help.

In some situations, the answer to some questions may still be “yes.” Maybe he did mean to hurt you. But at least now you can process that with a clearer head, and make appropriate choices based on this information.

Consider the options you have for change, and take the necessary steps toward them- perhaps with the support of a friend or a professional.

Wishing you strength and success. I believe in you!