How to Overcome Indecisiveness: The Difference Between Healthy and Harmful Hesitation

When discussing the difference between unhealthy hesitation and responsible hesitation, we must recognize that there are situations where we simply don’t have sufficient information to make an informed decision. In such cases, hesitation can be a sign of responsibility, as making a choice without sufficient data can be reckless. As our sages teach: “Who is wise? One who sees what is yet to come” (Talmud, Tamid 32a). When possible, it's important to gather all relevant information to help anticipate future outcomes.

Once we’ve collected all available information, but we’re still unable to make a decision, this indicates unhealthy hesitation.

We must understand that every decision involves some degree of uncertainty. If an outcome was 100% guaranteed, decisions would be obvious and we wouldn’t need a decision-making process at all. Every decision is a calculated risk, and even when things seem clear, our perspective may be influenced by past experiences or flawed assumptions. When a person is unable to tolerate even minimal risk, indecision takes over.

The “right” decision isn’t necessarily the best one in the long run, but the best choice for this moment, based on what we know now. There is no contradiction between making a decision and continuing to reflect, reassess, and adjust as needed.

Choosing Despite the Fear

Those who struggle with indecision often believe they’re the only ones who do. They see others making daily decisions with ease and they assume that their own dilemmas are unusually complicated, or that they are simply incapable of making decisions.

Both conclusions are false.

Almost everyone finds decision-making difficult at times. Every decision involves some level of risk, and people naturally avoid risk. Even those who appear confident may have struggled internally before choosing. In some cases, their show of certainty is simply a cover for inner doubt.

The real difference between someone who makes decisions regularly and someone who hesitates isn’t the absence of difficulty, but the willingness to push through it anyway.

Too Much Advice Can Be Harmful

King Solomon teaches in Proverbs (11:14): “Without strategy, a people will fall; with many counselors, there is deliverance.” When input can help clarify a situation, consulting with others can provide valuable perspectives and help illuminate the best path forward. Too many opinions however can result in confusion and make it impossible to move forward. When the number of perspectives becomes overwhelming, clarity disappears, and the result is decision paralysis.

The Car Test: A Step-by-Step Approach

The best approach is to divide the decision into smaller parts, and address each one individually.

If a person is unsure if they should purchase a car, they must begin with the most basic question: Do I need a car?

If the answer is no, the case is closed.
If the answer is yes, they now have a partial decision, and can move to the next question: Can I afford it? This involves reviewing their income and budget, and possibly considering ways to increase earnings.

After determining both need and affordability, they can move on to the final factor: Is it worth dealing with the social pressure that may result in owning a car? If the answer is still yes, they can focus on practical details such as which model to buy, the color, and so on.

Trying to process every angle of a decision at once is a recipe for overwhelm. The brain shuts down under the weight of too many variables, and the person avoids making a decision. By separating the issues, each becomes easier to handle, and the overall picture is less intimidating.

Deciding Creates Strength

Before making a decision, we often feel helpless, as if we’re standing at the base of a mountain. Once we’ve made the decision, we often feel a renewed sense of strength and clarity that helps us move forward. We may even realize that many of the fears holding us back were imaginary.

After a decision is made, action becomes easier. Focus returns, and we discover that what once felt insurmountable was in reality, far more manageable than we thought.