Riding the Rollercoaster of Life

"I'm actually in a good place right now. I look and feel pretty okay. But the thing is, I'm scared of what comes after this. Every time I go through a good phase, something bad always seems to follow. Why can't life just be stable? Why do I have to be afraid of what's next even when things are good?"

That’s what S. said to me after we hadn’t spoken for a while. And she’s right. The fear of what tomorrow might bring can be so overwhelming, that it can ruin our ability to enjoy the present moment.

Such is life. We go up and down on the rollercoaster of energy and emotion. Some people describe it as “waking up on the right side of the bed”- or on the wrong one. Life is like waves: we have highs, and we have lows. Eventually, after difficulty, the good does come.

What happens when we’re in a good place and can’t enjoy it because we’re already anticipating the next fall? When we know we’ve been in a good stretch for a while now, and it’s only a matter of time before the crash?

Let’s think of a workout. Who hasn’t experienced the awful “day after” feeling? That smile you wore after yesterday’s workout suddenly turns into a grimace when you try to get out of bed. Your muscles ache- muscles you weren’t even sure existed- and you start to wonder if exercise should just be left to other people. For someone not used to it, it really is painful. You walk around proudly saying to anyone who’ll listen, “Man, I’m so sore, I worked out yesterday. I can’t move!”

It sounds absurd. The workout that’s supposed to make us stronger ends up making it hard to move- and we’re proud of that?

Why? Because we know the pain means we worked the muscle and it means that growth is happening. We feel like we achieved something, that we didn’t give up, and we pushed forward one more step.

Life is just like a workout. Even when it feels like we’re pulling every muscle, struggling, pushing past our limits- yes, it hurts. But it doesn’t mean we’re failing- it means we’re growing.

When we feel the pain and difficulty, that often lifts us up a level. As hard as it is to believe in the moment, that pain strengthens our “life muscles” and sets us up for a better quality of life.

The more we prepare ourselves- mentally, emotionally and spiritually- the softer the landing when we do hit a low.

Noa Goldstein is an emotional therapist.