From Paralysis to Purposeful Courage - Third Article in the Series

“Blessed is the one who always fears,” said the wisest of all men (Proverbs 28:14). Indeed, fears serve as boundaries in our lives, marking the lines we dare not cross. Sometimes, these are positive boundaries such as the fear of reckless driving or harming another person. In such cases, fear protects us, and bravery would be misguided.

But often, these boundaries aren't based on logic. We fear them because they are the borders we’ve never crossed.

Fear: The First Barrier to Growth

Every first-time experience awakens fear which creates a mental border- a line we’re afraid to cross. However, fear does not mean that the line is uncrossable.

Some see fear as a warning sign: “Stop! Danger ahead. Turn back!” These people become stuck, paralyzed by imagined risks. Others see fear and say: “This is the edge- and I can cross it.” These are the ones who grow.

Courageous people seek challenges. They know that fear indicates that they’re close to something new and valuable. To them, fear is a signal of potential- the moment before breakthrough, where they are about to meet a greater version of themselves.

Fear, then, becomes a motivator- a push to prove to themselves that they can move past what’s holding them back.

A Prayer Without Limits

In the Torah portion of Vayetze, Jacob dreams of a ladder reaching to heaven, with angels ascending and descending. The Midrash (Tanchuma) offers a profound teaching: G-d showed Jacob the guardian angels of the great empires- Babylon, Persia, Greece, and Rome- each rising and then falling.

Then G-d told Jacob, “You too, climb.” But Jacob was afraid. He thought, If they went up and fell, I will too. So he didn’t climb.

G-d responded: If you had believed and climbed, you would never have fallen. Because Jacob didn’t believe in his unique strength, his descendants became subject to those very nations.

Rabbi Baruch Mordechai Ezrachi explains: Jacob didn’t doubt G-d, but he doubted himself. He saw himself as equal to the other nations, and so he limited his own potential.

Another example is Samson. Before his final act of strength, he prayed to G-d to help him take revenge on the Philistines- but added, “Let me die with the Philistines.” According to our sages, this was unnecessary. Had he prayed to defeat them and live, it could have been granted. But by limiting the power of his own prayer, he blocked what could have been.

The message is clear: fear limits us. It limits our dreams, our actions, and even our prayers. It shrinks our belief in ourselves and in what we’re capable of. If we break through, we discover that we are capable of much, much more.

Between Courage and Recklessness

It’s important to distinguish between courage and recklessness.

Big life changes aren’t always born from bravery- sometimes, they result from desperation. A person frustrated by years of missed opportunities might suddenly overcompensate. For instance, someone denied a high position for years might finally land it, only to act impulsively and make rash decisions. This isn't bravery but a reckless overreaction, often causing more harm than good.

True courage is measured and steady. It means taking gradual, deliberate steps toward your goal, despite fear.

If a person with social anxiety tries to become outgoing overnight, they’re likely to fail- and the failure will deepen their fear. But if they start by speaking to someone for just five minutes a day, they can gradually build positive experiences. That’s sustainable courage.

Even if setbacks occur, they will be small and manageable, causing less emotional harm. The risk matches the reward, and both grow together.

The Brave and the Rash: Same Goal, Different Paths

Both the reckless and the brave want to achieve something meaningful. But the reckless want it now, without the process, whereas the brave person embraces the process. The reckless deny reality, while the brave acknowledge it, and work patiently to rise above it.