The Future Is In Your Hands

At times, we imagine that if only we could go back and change one detail of our lives, our future would be so much brighter. In truth however, this is an illusion. The influence of the past on the future is marginal, because even with our current circumstances, we are still capable of building the same future we could have had without the baggage of the past.

The mindset that the past dictates the future causes us to lose both the present and the future.

When we believe that the past carries such decisive weight, it leads us to avoid seeking a new path as we becomes stuck in self-reflection. It also robs us of the chance to experience joy in the present and to create new opportunities in the future. It paralyzes our ability to make bold decisions or initiate change, trapping us in a predetermined path that isn’t necessarily the life we would choose for ourselves.

In reality, most past events are not as significant as they seem in hindsight. The difficulties we experienced weren’t as bleak as they now appear, our mistakes weren’t as terrible, and others' treatment of us wasn’t as negative.

During difficult times, people tend to view the past in a more exaggerated and negative light than it actually was. Even if we are unable to convince ourselves of this during a low moment, we can tap into it during moments of calm, and that awareness will eventually soften the shadows.

The goal isn’t to deny that we’ve been through hard times, but to keep the pain in proportion, and to rise above it so that it doesn't become our life story.

In the Torah it says (Genesis 39:2): “And the Lord was with Joseph, and he was a successful man; and he was in the house of his Egyptian master.” The Torah calls him a “successful man". But how is this possible? He was far from his father and sold into slavery in Egypt- but he did not surrender to hardship. He rose above it and chose to be a successful person. He did his best under the circumstances, so when the moment of opportunity came, he was ready- and that moment catapulted him to become the viceroy of Egypt.

The Torah emphasizes Joseph’s success while he was still a slave and a prisoner- the moments when he had every reason not to succeed. Because according to the Torah, success is not just favorable conditions, but being the kind of person who keeps functioning and doesn’t give up even when the odds are stacked against you.

Joseph chose to be a successful person, and for this reason, he ultimately was.

If we rise above our struggles, we can avoid being trapped in the past and instead maximize our potential in the present and be ready to seize the opportunities that Divine Providence sends our way.

A Life-Changing Decision

We must make a brave decision that we will not let our past limit our future, no matter what.

We are more than our past. We refuse to be tomorrow who we were yesterday. If we’re plagued by constant thoughts of the past, we can allow ourselves a set limited time for reflection. For example, we can dedicate thirty minutes a day to journaling about what life might have looked like if certain past events hadn’t occurred. But once that time ends, we close the drawer of the past and open the door to the future, starting from where we are now.

It is often not enough to only try to stop thinking about the past. Our ability to control thoughts is limited and so instead of trying to suppress the past, we must replace it with thoughts of the future.

For example, each time we notice ourselves spiraling into memories of a painful childhood or a lost job, we redirect ourselves with a concrete act: take pen and paper and write out our hopes for a better future. Describe the character traits we wish to develop, goals in family or work, the community we’d like to be part of, hobbies to explore, knowledge to gain, and more. Don’t just think- write.

We must replace the language of despair which is rooted in the past, with the language of hope and vision for a better future. The more we set clear goals, both short-term and long-term, the more we train our minds to think in terms of possibility and renewal.

Even thinking about a better future can begin to heal the pain of the past, before anything actually changes. One of the most healing forces is action: “Man is born to labor” (Job 5), and the greater the hope, the greater the energy to act. Focusing on the future energizes us to function now, and to walk a path that will eventually redeem the past.

When we concentrate on what can be better instead of what was painful, we naturally begin to shift toward the future, and toward growth and transformation. The hopeful future we imagine becomes a magnet, pulling us forward. The longing for a better life enables us to accomplish far more than we thought we could.

Our sense of what we are capable of tends to be based on past experience. We define ourselves based on what we’ve known, and therefore assume that we’ll fail again because we failed before. The moment we stop basing our identity on the past and instead focus on the future, we stop measuring our capacity by outdated standards, and start expanding it far beyond what we thought was possible.

We will act, and we will succeed.