The Secret to a Beautiful Life Is In Your Mind

Once, a group of accomplished students sat before the leader of all Diaspora Jewry, Rabbi Aharon Yehuda Leib Shteinman, of blessed and holy memory.

They were learning together the words of the holy Gemara (Berachot 57b): "A beautiful home, beautiful vessels, and a beautiful wife expand a person’s mind."

One of the students, with sincere curiosity, asked: “Honorable Rabbi, what is considered a ‘beautiful home’ that expands a person’s mind? Could you give us an example to help us understand what such a home looks like?”

Rabbi Shteinman looked to the right and to the left at the walls of his own home- walls that were faded, worn, and whose original color was no longer recognizable. The paint had long since peeled away, and the walls bore a mixture of colors from generations past.

Then he said: “It seems to me that this house is what’s called a ‘beautiful home that expands a person’s mind.’”

Each one of us can imagine a grand, luxurious hotel suite where we’d love to live. We can all picture our dream apartment. But just as easily, we can destroy our happiness by saying: “This apartment isn’t for me. It’s ugly, it’s unpleasant, I’m miserable and unhappy here.” In that moment, we would be 100% right.

By contrast, Rabbi Shteinman could live in a home far less attractive, nearly falling apart, and still be joyful and fulfilled, saying: “This is a beautiful home.”

The difference lies in perspective and more deeply, in how we choose to live. If each of us would look at our personal belongings, our home, our spouse, our children- everything that the Holy One, blessed be He, has given usm and say: “They are the most wonderful in the world, the very best for me, and I could ask for no greater perfection", then we would truly merit a broadened mind, and a life of genuine happiness and goodness.

If however a person constantly complains, focuses on what’s lacking, and compares themselves to others who have what they don’t- always measuring the gap between themselves and others- they are burying themselves alive.

The great sages of Israel knew how to rejoice in what they had. They knew how to appreciate the present moment, grow from it, and experience everlasting joy.