How to Stop Overthinking and Live in the Present: A Guide to Mindful Action

When we face the challenges in front of us, it's easy to get caught up in worrying about future problems. If we truly want to live however, our energy and time should be focused on the present. Rather than being stressed today about the uncertainties of tomorrow, we should deal with the tasks and problems of today, and leave tomorrow’s worries for tomorrow. This doesn’t mean we ignore the future, but we must place our attention where we have the power to act. Our service of G-d is about being present in the moment.

Considering that we are unable to handle tomorrow’s problems today, dwelling on them only causes harm. It’s a mistake to think, “Well, worrying doesn’t help, but at least it doesn’t hurt.” That is simply not true. Worrying isn’t only useless- it’s damaging. It steals our ability to live fully, to experience life, and to focus on our responsibilities right now.

We must view life as a collection of single-day units. Within each one, we must focus only on that day- not on regrets of the past or anxieties about the future, but on maximizing the value of the present. When we accomplish today’s responsibilities with full effort, we also position ourselves to arrive at tomorrow in a healthier mental state.

To resist the temptation of worrying about tomorrow, we need to immerse ourselves as much as possible in today’s mission and responsibilities. The more we’re focused and productive now, the less time and space we’ll have for needless anxieties about the future.

Stop Overthinking and Start Giving

One of the biggest causes of stress is being overly focused on ourselves. When life revolves around “me”, we obsess over our own problems, difficulties, and deadlines and we become hypersensitive. This is what self-centeredness looks like.

If however we redirect our focus outward- to giving, to helping others, to doing good- we send a powerful message to our brain that there’s more to life than my personal struggles. There’s a world outside of my emotions and worries.

When we’re too unoccupied, we create space for imagined problems. We begin stressing over things that haven’t happened yet, and might never happen. By focusing on stress, we magnify it- sometimes even reshaping reality to match our fears. If someone is anxious about being fired, the brain starts interpreting every neutral or irrelevant signal- like a manager not smiling or a colleague going quiet- as confirmation of that fear. Even if the facts don’t support it, the heart filters the brain’s focus, highlighting only what aligns with its emotional state.

In truth, facts may be accurate, but under stress, our interpretation of them can be wildly distorted. Under pressure, we’re no longer loyal to the facts but to our fears and projections.

Suppose a boss reminds someone to stop coming in late. Is that a sign he’s about to be fired? Not necessarily. But to the stressed employee, it may feel like it is. He then might begin imagining tone, facial expressions, or conspiracies that never existed. He starts distrusting coworkers and lives not by facts, but by the emotional story he’s built around them.

Further, the human brain can rewrite memory to fit emotion. The person isn’t lying- they genuinely believe their version of events. However, emotions took fragments of truth and stitched them into a false narrative.

If that person were instead busy doing meaningful things- especially helping others- he’d have less space for anxiety and more accurate memory. Service creates perspective, and giving reduces stress and builds confidence. It also enriches social life, which is critical for emotional well-being.

Too Much Honesty Can Hurt

Another major source of stress is poor communication. Often we say one thing, and the listener hears something completely different. This leads to tension and conflict both at home and at work. It’s much easier to learn good communication skills than to deal with the fallout of bad communication.

There are those who believe that being “real” or “honest” means always saying exactly what’s on their mind. If they think someone is doing something wrong, they feel compelled to say so, for that person’s “own good".

Our sages in the Talmud (Ketubot 17) taught us to praise the bride, even if we personally don’t find her attractive, because what matters is the groom’s joy. Rabbi Dessler explains that the truth isn’t what the observer sees, but what the person choosing feels. That’s the real truth- because it’s their life, not ours.

Don’t be surprised if people start avoiding someone who is “always just being honest'. Also, just because something feels true to you, it doesn’t mean it’s absolutely true.

Indeed, there is room to express how we feel, but we must learn how to do so with sensitivity. This includes focusing on facts, not accusations, and framing emotions as personal experiences rather than absolute truths. Instead of saying, “You were late, so clearly this meeting doesn’t matter to you” (which is an accusation), you can say: “It didn’t feel good to me that you were late. What can we do next time to make it better?” (This expresses feeling, rather than blame.)

The goal is to move from a conversation filled with blame and power struggles, to one based on understanding and problem-solving.