Personality Development
The Courage to Grow: Overcoming Fear and Unlocking Your True Potential
How embracing uncertainty, facing discomfort, and trusting yourself can lead to a life of meaning, confidence, and fulfillment.
- Rabbi Eyal Ungar
- פורסם ג' תשרי התש"פ

#VALUE!
Human beings have a fundamental need for a sense of certainty. Fear disrupts that security and casts the future into a fog of unpredictability. A brave person manages to overcome this fear and continues to function in spite of the uncertainty. Some individuals even seek out unpredictability because it challenges them and pushes them out of their comfort zone.
A brave person is someone who can face criticism and discomfort- not because it feels pleasant, but because they believe in themselves. They know that discomfort won’t break them or damage their ability to function, and are confident that their positive qualities will triumph over any momentary criticism. This conviction gives them the power to look beyond the discomfort and strive toward the future that awaits them.
A brave person is willing to take risks and and move forward despite uncertainty, when the situation justifies it. On the other hand, someone who acts under high risk without good reason, is acting from too much courage, which can be defined as recklessness.
Courage in Everyday Life
Often, people come up with good ideas but bury them simply out of fear of failure. They may think they lack reputation, support, or resources to bring those ideas to life.
They may be correct, factually. But in practice, a courageous person manages to implement their ideas even without external support, reputation, or resources- because their courage and self-belief help them attract the resources they need. A brave person doesn’t wait for external approval, or to feel completely at peace with their own internal approval. As it says in Ethics of the Fathers (Pirkei Avot 2), “One whose actions exceed his wisdom…” Even if they don’t fully understand how to do it, they know it’s the right thing to do- so they act, and the wisdom follows.
Most of our fears are, in fact, imaginary. They do not arise from a realistic analysis of the present, but are based on past experiences or other people’s beliefs that have been embedded into our thinking.
Adults are often held back by past failures or misinformation accumulated over time. Every disappointing experience shapes how they see the next opportunity.
Children, on the other hand, approach each new experience with a clean slate. They’re not carrying the emotional baggage of past disappointments and can therefore assess each opportunity more objectively. This helps them overcome the natural fear that comes with new experiences and allows them to break through the barrier of fear.
The Need for Moderation
It's important to balance courage with moderation, and avoid uncalculated or irresponsible boldness. A person who acts without caution or awareness by burying their head in the sand, invites negative experiences that may erode their self-confidence.
It is crucial to include courage in our personal toolkit, but just as essential to develop it wisely and gradually. Generally speaking, extreme changes are often the result of impulsiveness and don’t lead to long-term success. A person who tries to make a complete 180-degree change in life is likely to fail. That failure won’t push them forward but will increase their fear when facing the next challenge.
As the Vilna Gaon (Gra) explained on the verse in Proverbs (19:3): “A person’s own folly ruins his way, and his heart rages against the Lord.” The person tries to take leaps instead of steps, and then becomes angry when he’s not rewarded from above.
Had the person progressed step by step, they would have accumulated positive experiences that build confidence for future steps. and ultimately, they would have reached their goals.
A Key to Quality of Life
Rabbi Meir Chadash explains that Esau sold his birthright to Jacob because he didn’t believe he was worthy of it. Later, he even mocked it to avoid feeling unworthy.
Courage has a decisive impact on quality of life. It allows us to overcome old habits and conquer new areas that can serve us and help us advance.
People feel they’ve grown and evolved precisely when they do something they never believed they could do. Success means realizing that we are stronger than our fears which becomes possible when we acknowledge that most fears exist in our imagination.
Sometimes, a person feels afraid of the consequences that might follow a new decision and worry what might happen if they express an unpopular opinion, admit a mistake, or ask for forgiveness. In reality, those fears often exist only in the mind.
In most cases, trying something new, expressing an opinion, or apologizing will not cause harm or discomfort. Most often it turns out that the paralyzing fear was unwarranted, and that it wasn’t worth missing an opportunity because of what might happen.
People feel good about themselves when they make the most of their abilities- intellectually, physically, socially, and in every other way. Fear holds us back from using our strengths, while courage enables us to realize our potential.
For this reason, courage is truly the key to happiness and a meaningful life.
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