Freeing Yourself from Worry: How to Break the Cycle of Overthinking and Start Living

We tend to worry about the past, the present, and the future, and often believe this is the logical, responsible thing to do.

Most of our worries aren’t baseless. They are usually grounded in some kind of real possibility and reflect fear about what might happen. Up to a point, this is reasonable, but the problem arises regarding the amount of worry.

When we worry about a potential scenario, the odds of it happening are in fact quite low. For example, someone is debating whether to pursue a new career path. If they assess the situation objectively, they might find there's an 80% chance of success and only a 20% chance of failure. Logically, this is a worthwhile step. But then the worry kicks in and blows that 20% chance out of proportion. The person tells themselves, “What if I fail? What if I’m not cut out for this?”

Hesitation in itself is not bad and careful thought is a healthy and necessary part of decision-making. However, when fear of the 20% chance of failure prevents us from acting- even when there’s an 80% chance of success- worry becomes a serious obstacle. Instead of preparing to move forward, we become stuck in endless worry, and paralyzed into inaction.

Worry drains creativity, limits our ability to take initiative, and clouds our thinking. Rather than focusing on progress and the positive potential, we become enslaved to our fears and stuck on worst-case scenarios.

How Can We Deal With Worry?

Write down ten worries that are currently bothering you. They don’t need to be major life concerns, but small, everyday issues such as health concerns, parenting worries, financial stress, and so on. If you run out of ideas at five, push yourself to reach ten. You might be surprised to uncover hidden worries quietly draining your emotional energy in the background.

Now that you have your list, look at each worry and imagine how your life would be different without it. For example: If you worried less about your child’s development, you might be more relaxed and playful with them. If you weren’t constantly anxious about their academic success, you might be less critical, more encouraging, and your relationship would probably feel more positive.

Apply the same thinking to other areas of your life- how would your day-to-day experience improve without these specific worries? Go into detail. Get a clear picture of what your life could look like if you let go of some of this burden.

Next, compare your current, worry-filled reality with the alternate version you just imagined. What would your life be like if you didn’t carry all that mental weight? You’ll likely realize how much more successful, calm, and vibrant life could be without it.

The challenge is to stop waiting for the day when your worries disappear to become your best self. Start being that person now, despite the worries.

Not About Eliminating All Worry

The goal here is not to become someone who never worries. A certain level of concern reflects care and responsibility (“Who is wise? One who foresees the consequences”). We want to address the excessive worry that paralyzes us, drains energy, stifles growth, and harms our relationships.

Commit to set aside time to live like the person we could be without all the unnecessary worry. Don’t wait for the “perfect conditions” to act. Live now as if those worries had already lost their power over you.

Try a "No-Worry Day"

To help yourself feel the contrast between your normal worry-filled life and one with lighter emotional baggage, try a “No-Worry Day.” Designate one full day where you don’t speak or think about the things you usually worry about.

Our instinct might be to choose Shabbat as that day, since it naturally shields us from many day-to-day concerns. But the best time for this exercise is during the week, so that you can clearly compare a normal workday with and without the stress. This helps you prove to yourself that it's possible to function, and even thrive, despite the presence of worry in your life.

If a full day feels overwhelming, try half a day. Even just a few hours of freedom from worry, spent enjoying meaningful activities, connecting with people, or simply relaxing, can open your eyes to how much worry has been stealing from you.

A reasonable amount of worry is part of being a responsible adult. But chronic over-worrying can trap you in fear, drain your strength, limit your growth, and damage relationships. Becoming aware of this and reflecting on the cost of worry is the first step to change.

As the Pri Tzaddik (Rabbi Tzadok HaKohen of Lublin) explains on the Mishnah “Everything is foreseen, yet permission is given [to act]”: Look at the past as “foreseen”- what happened, happened. Learn from it, but don’t get stuck there. Focus on what you can do now to improve your future. The power to act, to choose, and to live fully, remains entirely yours.