The Power of Patience: 10 Teachings on Inner Strength and Self-Mastery

The following guidance from the Pele Yoetz (book of ethics) is a timeless reminder that patience is one of the greatest expressions of strength, character, and spiritual greatness.

1. “How good and pleasant is patience!”
   Patience is a noble trait needed by every person. A leader must bear the burdens of the people and endure insult from wicked individuals who challenge him. He must guide and direct them with calm and gentleness.

2. “In the home, patience is essential.”
   Between a person and their spouse or children, one should always practice the principle of “the left hand pushes away while the right hand draws near.” Everything depends on the individual- their understanding, age, temperament, the situation, and the need at the moment. True balance requires a careful inner scale and sacred judgment to determine the right approach: whether to speak firmly or remain silent, whether to use soft words or strong ones.

3. “How much strength is needed to hold back in speech!”
   Even when the heart burns with emotion and the words are pressing to be released, one must summon the strength of a lion to conquer the impulse and hold back one’s tongue.

4. “Especially in anger- be as one who is mute.”
   During moments of anger, a person should act as if they are speechless and not open their mouth, because they will not speak with wisdom. A person of rage stirs strife, curses, and insults- even the Divine Presence is not honored in their presence. Therefore, silence is precious. Endure the insult and do not respond in kind. “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue preserves his soul from troubles” (Proverbs 21:23), and he will merit great goodness.

5. “How much patience is needed to teach children!”
   Whether teaching young children Torah or guiding one’s own children, patience is essential. Sometimes they are slow to absorb or quick to forget, either because of a lack of understanding or lack of attention. It is human nature to become frustrated, but the task of the teacher is to instruct according to the child's nature and return again and again, just as Rabbi Preida taught one student 400 times- and earned a great reward for it (Eruvin 54b).

6. “Patience in the home is of the highest value.”
   If someone is married to a difficult spouse, they must summon inner strength and endure, for the sake of peace in the home, which is a great and lofty value in Jewish life.

7. “True greatness is tested under pressure.”
   There is no praise in being calm when everyone treats you with honor and respect. The real test is when you are provoked, treated unfairly, or disrespected, and still manage to restrain yourself and rise above. That is when you truly earn reward, for “one who overlooks his own honor has his sins overlooked in return.”

8. “The world stands on restraint.”
   Quoting Job, “He suspends the world on nothingness,” and our Sages in Chullin: “The world endures because of those who hold back their words during conflict.”

9. “Everyone knows how valuable patience is,”
   But, people often ask: “Who can actually bear it? Who can really stand firm in the face of insult or frustration?”

10. “Because the benefits are so great- strengthen yourself!”
    Despite the difficulty, because of the immense physical and spiritual rewards- both in this world and the next- a person should gather all their inner strength and determination to grow in patience. As the Sages say, “According to the effort is the reward,” and “One who comes to purify himself is helped from Heaven.”