Spiritual Relaxation: How to Release Worry and Find Inner Peace

After exploring in previous articles the root causes of worry and stress, as well as their destructive consequences, we must now understand how to treat this issue, and how to reach the desirable state known as relaxation (harpaya).

It is possible to reach a certain superficial state of calm through quick fixes, by temporarily disconnecting from responsibilities and artificially creating a sense of relaxation, without actually addressing the deeper issues. These breaks don’t last long, although they may be helpful to some degree if used correctly, or as a springboard for positive action.

True and lasting relaxation however, can only be achieved through internal, authentic work- by confronting the root illusion in which a person believes they are a completely independent being, burdened by obligations they must fulfill. The soul finds peace when it internalizes the truth that every action and outcome is ultimately directed by the Creator who governs all.

At the outset of the relaxation process, it is essential to absorb a major insight that can resolve much inner conflict. Occasionally, even when a person has developed emotional maturity, they find themselves reacting to small stressors with unexpected anger or pettiness.

The human soul is multilayered. According to Kabbalah, when a child matures into a teenager, the “inner child” doesn’t disappear- it simply gains an additional layer, a “teenage mind.” As the person continues to mature into adulthood, both the child and the teenager remain within, but the adult consciousness leads the way and keeps them in check. If that adult presence weakens its grip, the younger aspects may resurface and act out.

Envision a 40-year-old man receiving stressful news. The inner child begins to cry, the teenager panics, and the adult tries to calmly reassure them saying, “It will all be okay,” relying on his faith in G-d. And yet, the child and teenager within are unable to comprehend this statement. Just as you can’t calm a weeping child with logic alone, neither can you soothe your inner turmoil with generic reassurances, no matter how true they may be.

True emotional healing doesn’t result from denial or suppression but by carefully examining our fears and worries. We must allow ourselves to admit that certain burdens feel too heavy and that we are “too small” to handle them alone. This self-awareness isn’t weakness- it is the only path to truly cleansing the toxins from our soul.

Relaxation isn’t an escape from worry- it begins with honest analysis: What is the problem? Why is it affecting me so deeply?
Why do I feel helpless in the face of it?

As we answer these questions with empathy toward ourselves, we begin to reclaim emotional clarity. This is the method taught by King David in Tehillim, who faced countless hardships and didn’t ignore them, but processed them fully and arrived at a powerful truth: “Cast your burden upon G-d, and He will sustain you” (Psalms 55:23).

This isn’t only about believing that G-d can help, but about deeply accepting that we cannot help ourselves without Him. Like a baby following its mother who feeds it crumb by crumb, we find peace when we realize that we are not carrying the burden alone.

Jewish law requires effort- but this must be done with faith, knowing that the results don’t depend on our power, but on G-d’s will, and in this way, the action no longer feels like a crushing weight.

True relaxation is the fruit of deep reflection on the Oneness of G-d. It offers not only inner peace but also a blossoming of the divine soul within, like a tightly closed flower finally opening to reveal all its hidden beauty and potential.

Rabbi Yehuda Wingarten is the chairman of the Chassidic Institute and the "Foundations of Education" organization.