Unlocking the Subconscious Mind: How Hidden Thoughts Shape Your Life

Imagine that you’re the head of a large company, but your deputy makes most of the day-to-day decisions and is the one running the business. If someone asked, “Who’s in charge here?”- you’d likely say: “I am”, although you know your deputy is calling the shots.

This is the way it is for many people. They believe they are consciously in control of their actions, thinking they lead rational, logical lives and make deliberate choices, when in fact each of us has an unseen “deputy” quietly steering us: the subconscious mind. Often, it is this hidden force that actually governs our behavior and decisions.

The Layers of the Human Mind

Human personality is made up of several layers:

1. The Conscious Mind – This is where thoughts and ideas appear, and how we perceive and analyze reality. It handles logic and reasoning- whether related to the physical world, social situations, or internal experiences.

2. The Preconscious – This is information that’s just beneath awareness. We don’t actively think about it, but we can easily retrieve it when needed.

3. The Subconscious – This deeper layer stores all experiences, feelings, and memories- especially those we aren’t equipped to process. These may be too painful or threatening to handle, and so the mind tucks them away.

Think of the mind as a house:

• The conscious is like the living room- open and visible to all.

• The preconscious is like a closet- closed off, but easily accessible.

• The subconscious is the attic or basement- dark, out of sight, full of forgotten or hidden items.

Much of our lives are shaped by what’s stored in the attic, but in our daily routine, we often have no access to what lies buried there.

The Subconscious in Jewish Thought

Interestingly, although Freud is often credited with discovering the subconscious, the concept appears earlier in Jewish thought. In Alei Shur, Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe cites Rabbi Yisrael Salanter as identifying the idea of unconscious forces (“dark powers”) about 60 years before Freud. Rabbi Salanter contrasted the “clear powers” of the conscious mind with the “dim powers” of the subconscious- ideas that exist in us but aren’t consciously visible.

The Tanya also alludes to this idea. Interpreting the Talmudic phrase, “A person must become intoxicated on Purim until he cannot distinguish between ‘Blessed is Mordechai’ and ‘Cursed is Haman,’” the Tanya explains that this refers to accessing the subconscious- where one must embed both messages deeply into the soul.

The Subconscious’ Warning System: Defense Mechanisms

As mentioned, the subconscious stores experiences and emotions we can’t consciously process. It serves as a form of divine compassion- shielding us from internal damage. This information doesn’t disappear, but simmers beneath the surface.

To keep us functioning, the mind uses defense mechanisms which are protective tools that prevent threatening content from emerging into the conscious mind. These defenses also send signals, inviting us to explore those buried experiences in safe, gradual ways. With proper therapeutic guidance, these signals can help us grow and heal.

How Defense Mechanisms Work

Let’s take an example of guilt. Suppose a person suppresses deep guilt from past experiences. In current situations that might evoke similar guilt, a defense mechanism will kick in- perhaps by denying the feeling or distracting the mind. The person may feel foggy or uneasy but won’t understand why, because the underlying emotion isn’t clearly surfacing. They’re unable to process or release it, but it still influences their behavior.

This creates a conflict between one’s values or logic and a vague emotional discomfort. The result is often an unhelpful or disproportionate reaction such as projection, rationalization, or displacement- which doesn’t resolve the inner issue.

As the saying goes: “Most people die at 20 and are buried at 80.” That is, over time, we become less and less self-aware, and more governed by the subconscious.

Case Study: Subconscious Conflict in Action

Scenario:
Ron schedules a meeting with Simon at 2:00 PM but feels too tired and wants to cancel.

Internal Conflict:

• He’s exhausted and doesn’t want to meet.

• He feels guilty because Simon changed his plans to make this meeting happen.

Healthy Approach:
Ron could acknowledge the importance of the meeting and apologize sincerely, offering to reschedule at Simon's convenience.

Subconscious Defense:
Ron's subconscious can’t handle the guilt, so it deflects responsibility onto Simon.

• If Simon doesn’t answer the phone: “Well, I tried calling you but you didn’t answer!”

• If Simon arrives late: “You were late, so I had to cancel.”

In both cases, Ron is using projection- attributing his own inner struggle to someone else.

What’s Really Going On?
Perhaps, in his childhood, Ron was burdened with excessive guilt, and now as an adult, he subconsciously avoids confronting similar feelings.

Defense Mechanisms Can Also Help Us Cope

Sometimes, defense mechanisms serve a valuable purpose. For example, if every time you started your car, you internalized that vehicles are deadly machines, responsible for more deaths than wars- driving would become terrifying.

Thanks to denial (a defense mechanism), you are able to push aside that awareness and drive calmly. Though we know the statistics, we don't dwell on them constantly, which allows us to function.

Other Subconscious Signals

A well-known example is the Freudian slip- a mistake in speech, action, or memory caused by subconscious material bubbling to the surface.

• Forgetting a name

• Yawning during a conversation

• Saying the wrong word

• Losing items frequently

• Only hearing what you want to hear (selective listening)

These are not random errors- they often carry hidden meaning.

Dreams are another realm where the subconscious emerges. In waking life, painful truths are buried, but during sleep, the subconscious may release that content in symbolic form.  Understanding dreams can help surface and process subconscious messages.

These are just a few examples of how we encounter our subconscious. The more we become aware of what lies beneath, and bring shadowy content into the light of consciousness, the healthier and freer we become.

Illuminating what’s hidden is the first step to taking true control of your life.