Spiritual Guidelines for Naming Children in Jewish Tradition

When naming a child, it is common to name after a deceased relative if he was known to be upright in his deeds. Naming after them is viewed as an honor. However, according to the well-known Kabbalist Rabbi Yehuda Fatiyah in his book Minchat Yehuda, even if the deceased was not known as wicked, but also not known as righteous, and passed away without repentance, it's possible that spiritual judgments remain on them due to unresolved transgressions, and thereone one should be cautious about naming a child after them.

When the person was of average character, it is recommended that the parents, or at least one of them, should inwardly intend that the child is not named only after the deceased grandfather (for example, "Moshe") but also after Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) and other great and righteous figures throughout Jewish history who bore that name. The name was chosen among many possible names of the greats in order to honor the grandfather without spiritually binding the child to him. If a Tikun Niftarim (spiritual rectification for the deceased) was performed for the departed, then there is no need to fear naming the child after them, as Rabbi Fatiyah himself concludes in that chapter.

He writes in Minchat Yehuda: “From all this one can understand that if a person names a child after a deceased person, he may be putting the child in grave danger, for the soul of the deceased may reincarnate in the child named after him. And if the deceased was liable for harsh judgments such as stoning or execution, this may affect the child...I myself once named my son after a deceased relative of my mother’s family- without knowing these dangers- and the child died in infancy. Nearly all children in the family who were named after this person died at various ages. Only two survived. After my son passed away, the deceased appeared to me in a dream and pleaded with me to name another child after him, claiming that his soul’s judgment had now been completed and the child would not die. I told him that I am not obligated to put another child at risk for his honor. He left me in anger.”

He further describes a vision he had during a brit milah (circumcision) where a child was named after a deceased person and spiritual harm was evident. He concludes: one should not name a child after someone deceased unless it is absolutely clear that the person was righteous and followed a pure path. Again, if proper spiritual rectification has been done, or the parents intend to name the child after great Jewish sages who had the same name, there is no concern.

When Naming May Cause Family Tension

If refraining from naming the child after the deceased might cause serious family conflict or resentment, one may use the name but should mentally intend that the name refers to righteous individuals who bore it but not the deceased relative with questionable conduct. The merit of avoiding conflict will protect the child.

Another option is to give the child a double name and regularly use both names. If the concerned family member can be appeased by giving a similar-sounding name, that is preferable. However, if the deceased was wicked but later repented, it is permissible to name a child after them.

If the Deceased Had No Children

According to Igrot Moshe, one should ideally refrain from naming a child after someone who passed away without having children.

Naming After the Living

Among Sephardic Jews, it is customary to name children after living relatives, and doing so is considered a great honor. Among most Ashkenazim, however, it is customary not to name after someone still alive, and doing so can even be perceived as insulting, as if wishing for their death. Each community should follow its custom.

Names from Before Abraham, Plant and Animal Names

It is advised not to name children after biblical figures who lived before Abraham- such as Adam or Noah- although those who do have reputable sources to rely on.

Likewise, it's better to avoid names based on plants or animals, unless the name was used by righteous figures in Jewish history. In such cases, there's no reason for concern.

Gender-Appropriate Names

One must not give a girl a boy’s name, or a boy a girl’s name. Doing so may spiritually misalign the child’s energy channels (in Kabbalistic terms), such as causing fertility issues or emotional imbalances. For example, a girl named “Daniel” who displays overly masculine traits or struggles with childbearing may benefit from altering her name- such as adding a letter to make it “Daniela” or changing to a more appropriate name. When in doubt, consult a G-d-fearing Torah scholar who understands the spiritual weight of names.

Some names, such as Simcha or Yona, are given to boys in Ashkenazic communities and to girls in Sephardic ones. In these cases, each community should follow its tradition without fear.

One may name a girl with a feminine version of a male name if the intention is to honor a male relative- for example Dina for Dan, Tzivya for Tzvi, Chaya for Chaim, Meira for Meir. Some are cautious about naming a boy after a female in this way. Still, there is no halachic concern with this practice.

Abbreviating Names

Once a child is named, it is not ideal to shorten or alter the name. For example, saying Avi instead of Avraham, or Kobi instead of Yaakov. A name connects the individual to the spiritual channels of the specific letters and energies it contains. Using only a nickname can weaken those channels. If the child is already commonly called by a shortened name, close relatives should try to call him by his full name occasionally to preserve the spiritual connection.

Customs for Long Life and Protection

Among Sephardic Jews, naming a child after a living grandfather is considered an honor, and some even believe it is a segulah (spiritual merit) for the grandfather’s long life. Among Ashkenazim, it is more common to name only after the deceased, and some are offended if named after while still alive. If the father agrees, it is permitted.

For Children Who Died Young

The Pele Yoetz writes: if a couple has lost previous children in infancy, they should name the new child Ben-Tzion, or give them two names. This is considered a segulah that the child will live. In Yemenite communities, a father might name a child after himself-e.g., Yosef ben Yosef- as a spiritual protection against premature death.

To Merit a Son After Many Daughters

If someone has many daughters and longs for a son, it is a custom to name the last daughter Bat-Sheva as a segulah to merit a boy next.